An Irish and a Jew

So many endings to so many stories

2011-11-10T13:26:00.003-05:00

When I look back at this blog I'm truly amazed at how much of my life it holds. I mean there is just so much of the detail that I don't have in my head. Things have changed a lot in the last year but here are some highlights:

- I left NYC (well kind of) as in I don't live there anymore to be with the Ex who clearly is no longer my Ex

- Jew had her bachelorette party and we were the two drunkest people there; she got all sexy on stage singing Billy Joel and I got in a fight with one of the other bridesmaids when I refused to go home at the end of the night

- Jew got married!!!! It was amaze! She was gorg and I looked pretty fab too

- Jew and I both got well deserved promotions

- Jew introduced me to Vodka Sods with a splash of lime juice

- Life Long Crush passed away suddenly. I want to blog about it because it might be therapeutic but unfortch im still a complete mess when I try to talk about it. I miss him.

- Paddy got ENGAGED and if I can't blog about LLC well then I certainly MUST blog about Paddy. I know its ridic after 5+ years that he is still in my life but the truth is I feel awful for his fiance who has NO IDEA he is a complete scummer. I'm sure she thinks he is TOTALLY the best so all I can do is thank God I'm not in her shoes and be happy with my decision to never let it get super serious with him, like from a romantic perspective at least. A preview of what is to come, "I don't know why I did it Irish, I just want to drive off a bridge right now... I don't see this lasting more than 5 years." *gag*

- I'm pretty sure I got roofied at a concert

- Jew inspired Irish to take up running again (well until Irish got roofied at the concert and f'ed up her leg due to a serious roofied-fueled injury)

So that is the quick and dirty. More to come!!!

2011-10-22T15:05:00.004-05:00

I'm trying to convince Irish to start a new blog under our real names, now that we're respectable adults, and now that I have convinced her to convert to Judaism... jk about that last part. But seriously Irish... consider it!

JEW IS MARRIED!!!

2011-08-05T11:53:00.004-05:00

I shit you not!

Jew was one HOT bride and I gotta say I wasn't looking half bad in the way too sexy (read: I could never have stepped foot in a Catholic church wearing that dress) bridesmaid dress.

Congrats to Jew!

A recap:

Jew: Maybe I should stop drinking liquor
Irish: Yea I've been reallying drinking wine most of the time lately
Jew: I don't want people to think that I was a sloppy drunk brat at my wedding
Irish: OMG NO ONE THINKS THAT!!
Jew: Well I know that nobody would tell me if I was
Irish: It was your wedding everything thought you were a hot princess. II mean I was drunk and Erin was def. drunker than you but I feel like your sister would have told you during the wedding if you were too drunk
Jew: Someone should have throw up then I would have known I wasn't the drunkest
Irish: I mean I was watching you, you were out on the dance floor looking HOT most of the time and when you weren't it was because you were saying good-bye to someone old
Jew: I feel bad saying that Uncle Tom can't speak English
Irish: But he can't
Jew: Right
Irish: But he sure can balance a beer on his head and then dance around the entire dance floor
Jew: I'd love it if my fiends were here
Irish: Ha I want a honeymoon with my friends
Jew: Adam can't support the crazy all by himself... you should just come.. be like "Oh Hello! I didn't know you meant THIS Puerto Rico!"
Irish: Hahahaha YES!
Jew: You should blog this... jk

Jew is getting married in like 5 minutes

2011-01-20T22:57:00.002-05:00

A few weeks back (ok actually months) we went dress shopping for Jew's dress and OMFG it is GORG! She tried on a ton of different varieties and we finally settled on one sexy ass dress (not one that I'd wear in a Catholic Church of course but very much a dress that Jew would wear and then proceed to dance her face off wearing all night long.

Which means ahhhh the bridesmaid dress fitting is in like 3 weeks! I have to lose like 100lbs before the wedding. Obvs over Christmas during a Law and Order marathon I got totally brainwashed by the new Weight Watchers system. It was like Jennifer Hudson was hypnotising me with her hips... so I'm 2.5 weeks in a down 6lbs.. at this rate I'll be slamming just in time for Jews wedding. PS: No one told me I've gained 20lbs since I broke my foot. Ugh.

Anyways that is the quick and dirty on what is going on in our lives... more to come. Maybe.

Love Songs

2010-08-23T17:11:00.003-05:00

Hello! I can't remember what blue I am supposed to use. This one is fun!

In September Irish, Erin and I are going to look for my wedding dress... crazy right? I can't believe Todd still checks us.

Anyway - future hubby and I were thinking of wedding songs - we like "You Got It" and "This Magic Moment," but wouldn't it be cool if someone did a mash up of The Pixies "Here Comes Your Man" and Petty's Here Comes My Girl?" That would be sweet.

Are You There Jew... It is me Irish

2010-08-18T22:58:00.002-05:00

This blog is officially green. Wouldn't it be awesome if Jew ranomdly posted a post like it was circa 2007 that'd be so great.

In other news, for those that still read this lame ass blog..... I'm a bridesmaid in Jew's wedding!!! Yah!!!

Really Bro?!?!

2010-08-18T07:13:00.002-05:00

Curly defriended me on facebook!! WTF!! I don't know if I should be flattered that I'm in his head or pissed that he has the mentality of a 2nd grader or hurt that it turns out he's a dickshit. I think I'll try to tell the story on here sometime in the next month. Stay tuned.

Serious Shit You Don't Ever Think About

2010-06-24T22:31:00.005-05:00

You always think about your first love. That one person becomes the point of comparison for all future loves... because love never seems as real and as genuine as when you are in high school.

What I never thought about before this week is what it would feel like to loose my first love. On Monday afternoon I received news that my childhood bestfriend/high school sweet heart had passed away very unexpectedly. I've experienced a lot of loss over the years, dealt with a significant amount of tragedy, but I don't think I've ever experienced shock the way I did on Monday... and still am.

I called his cell phone once, then twice, then rapidly but it had already been disconnected. HS SH had recently moved to the other side of the county and I never got the chance to say goodbye. After all these years we were still in touch... and he wanted to catch up before the big move but I just didn't find the time. Not intentionally of course.

I think about the person I am today and how so much of that is due to the experiences I had during my adolescence -- the experiences I had with him. We were inseparable... talking each and every day till all hours of the night, spending weekends curled up on the couch watching movies in his basement, attending 5:30 mass (the good Irish Catholics that we were) on Saturdays follow by family dinner. Our love was real and seemed like it would and could last forever...

...but it didn't.

HS SH and I had a falling out the second half of senior year. We anticipated trouble in our future and we fought and we hurt each other and we separated... but we never stopped caring and we always stayed in touch.

It was about 2 years ago when we went to dinner at my favorite restaurant in Astoria and he told me... "Irish, I've never been able to talk to someone as easily as I used to be able to with you" and I really think he meant that.

We both changed and we both became very different people yet my heart breaks because now all the things that used to make me think of him and smile like that one way too long Dave Matthews song, or the smell of Joop, or the #5, or black Saturns, or tuna fish on bagels, or the Back to the Future Trilogy and so much more... now instead of making me think of him and smile softly to myself now they are going to make me sad...

When you lose someone you loved, someone who was truly part of you then you become the keeper of your shared memories. It is going to take me a while to come to terms with that but when I do.. I will cherish those memories for my lifetime.

Ouch Liver You Hurt

2010-06-02T07:19:00.003-05:00

Another year comes another year goes... Memorial Day Weekend at the Irish Festival in East Durham should come with a warning label. I have bruises, burns (what?) and freckles all over the place.

Saturday morning into the night back into the morning I took it upon myself to well drink like it was 2003... yes that is correct the year I turned 21. Started the early afternoon off right with about 6-7 beers nothing crazy... moved over to the festivals where 24oz Guinness were just not an option and can you believe the lady from the beer tent remembers me every year?! It is crazy... not only that she remembers me but that she still hooks me up by charging me the price of the 12oz beer. It pays to be a red head. Post festival it gets a little blurry... I mean I think I ate some food, consumed some more beers and probs started looking lot a hot mess. When I accidentally poured red wine down my dress I was still in the state of mine to realize I needed to change into someone else before heading out... but not in the state of mine to realize what I was changing into I wore the night before... shocking. Whatevs that dress is hot.

At the bar circa 11pm I had my first blackout. I know i ordered an RBV and that I was dancing with this short dude who kept buying me RBVs but I don't remember much else. Cut to I'm doing shots of Jameo with Curly's sister and boom here comes my second black out. I know I smoked a lot of cigs but they must not have been mine because my pack was unopened in the morning.. oh yea the morning when I woke up in some hotel room in a bed with a room full of people I don't really know.

Moral of the story... trying to beat a hangover in 90 degree weather in a tent totally effin blows.

Cheers to being Irish.

~Irish

Boys are EFFIN dumb

2010-04-13T13:08:00.001-05:00

really curly... no you are not allowed to try and date my coworker u mother effer. end of story.

Ramble On

2010-04-07T07:35:00.004-05:00

Umm Atoms for Peace... sickest band ever. I highly suggest you check them out if you ever have the chance. I spent hours attempting to scalp on Monday night and just as I was about to give up some peeps with the band handed me a ticket. Flea and Thom Yorke on way stage... holy mother.

In other news, I was out of the show just in time to watch Coach K and his annoying as ever Blue Devils win the NCAA Tourney. That was kinda lame but hey I'm over it... actually I was over it when Butler beat 'Cuse but what can you do.

I'm working like a slave all week which is great since this weather is so lovely but at least I have the weekend to look forward to... it is Bree's birthday celebration and celebrate we will!

Cheers,
Irish

Ugh My Liver

2010-03-15T07:00:00.004-05:00

Parade 2 down... recap to follow but it involves arrival at the bar 8am, 2 bus loads of irish hooligans and a 4am consumption of something called a garbage plate at diner in a part of Rochester that requires security guards who sport bullet proof vests. God I love March.

In other news... glad Cuse secured a #1 seed. Let's go Orange.

Cheers,
Irish

PARADE SEASON!!

2010-03-04T08:32:00.003-05:00

The kickoff is this weekend.... are you ready or are you ready?!?

Truth be told I kicked off a little early this weekend with a Welcome to March party up at the Rambling House last Sunday... I mean really is there a better place to end February or what?

This year might be the first year IN MY ENTIRE LIFE that I have to work on 3/17... I haven't given up hope yet, there must be a way around it... but please keep your fingers crossed.

In other news... Cuse is #1 and lookin good. I hadn't just worked three 15 hours days I'd wholeheartedly be able to say life is pretty damn good right now.... but instead I'm gonna say Oh shit I was supposed to be at work 5 minutes ago but I'm in a towel on my bed.

Cheers,
Irish

This Time About 3 Years Ago

2010-02-04T00:07:00.005-05:00

Hey kids... so I'm teasing a little here and there with some new blog posts... (see below). But I have to say we have a lotta good shit in this blog and I think it is time to reflect on the past and maybe provide a little comparison on what has changed these last three years.

In this installment of "This Time About 3 Years Ago" we have a blog entry called "Why Do I Sleep With Guys... Without Sleeping With Guys" (Click the link give it a good read).

At the time Jew was away on family vacay in VT... well wouldn't you know it, right now Jew is away on family vacay in VT.

At the time Bert thought of me like his sister and would have died if he knew I woke up in Weehawken in his friend's bed. Today, Bert still thinks of me like his sister, said friend however is living home on Long Island and going to Law School.

At the time I spent a weekend up in the BX with Connor and his sister (pre us ever hooking up). Today, Connor lives in NH with his adorable girlfriend and really has his shit together.

At the time I spent Super Bowl Sunday with Ernie and his mom and sister were convinced that we were going to end up together. Today, Ernie has a C-rag girlfriend who kinda hates my guts, his sister is about to have twins and her and her mom are still convinced that I'm going to end up with Ernie.

So while some things change... at the end of the day a lotta shit stays the same huh?

Cheers,
Irish

She Works Hard....

2010-02-03T23:46:00.007-05:00

So I dunno if you guys realize why I don't really blog anymore but it is because my job basically controls my life... tonight I left at a decent hour (uh 10:00) mostly bc my new roomie, Tar Heel, had ordered me Thai food and I was about to eat my arm off if I didn't get some food. To be fair I am supposed to be in the office at 8:30 and on average I arrive around 9:15-9:30ish... turns out no one really seems to notice and the few people who sit around me just think it is hilarious. Hey... whatevers clever right? I mean the point is I love my job and I work my ass off but so does everyone on my team, well, almost everyone...

Today... I honestly almost lost it. I work with a girl named Serena who to be totally honest just isn't that great at her job. I mean don't get me wrong she tries really hard but our job is challenging and half the time I'm not sure I even know what is going on... but she just DOESN'T GET IT! I assigned her with a project on Friday that she told me she would have completed on Monday and well then Monday came and other crap fell on her plate and suddenly my assignment wasn't going to be completed until Wednesday. Technically, I don't manage this chick but from time to time I do have her assist in some of the projects I manage via my boss' approval... but honestly I'm sooooo sick of it!! Today, she just wasn't understanding my directions and no joke I explained them CLEARLY not once, not twice but THREE EFFIN TIMES!

Long story short, I don't think she is cut out for our line of work... and I still don't have what I need and am most likely going to have to either do it myself or explain what happened to my boss. Sigh. The real problem is that Serena and I live in the same hood and socialize outside of work on a regular basis... she sorta gets on my nerves from time to time b/c despite being totally hot she has these weird insecurities and if there is one thing I can't stand it is insecure hot chicks. Bottom line is I am torn between murdering her, finding a professional way to tell my boss she blows and just giving her some slack and another "strike" if you will....

I meet with my boss after lunch... wish me luck.

Cheers,
irish

Hussy

2010-01-26T08:06:00.003-05:00

So after 5.5 long and miserable years, Bree has FINALLY broken up with her old man scum bag boyfriend. Hallelujah! So she's been leaving in NYC since around New Years and we've all been working really hard to make sure she doesn't go back home anytime soon.

Friday night was a big night out for my friends and I... we headed to a bar on the UES to see one of our fav local irish bands. Got a really great crowd to join so something like 20+ of us secured a great spot near the stage and got our booze on... when suddenly Bree's Brother leaned in and whispered in my ear,

"Irish you do realize you've slept with half the guys in this bar."

I looked at him with a look of shock, "UH no actually I didn't notice."

And that's when it hit me... We had Black Irish Stud near the bar throwing back shots of Jameo, we had Dimples standing slightly out of place with a beer in his hand wondering how much long till he could get outta there, we had Curly leaning up against the wall singing along with the band and of course we had Bree's bro (whose gf recently asked him if we had every hooked up and he lied about it, natch, I mean duh it was like 4 years ago so it totally doesn't count anymore).

So I looked at Bree's bro gave him the finger and said "Four is not half the guys in this bar."

"Four?!?!?! Who the hell is the fourth!!"

And that's when I realized, Bree's Bro doesn't know about Curly... sigh. And now he's most likely spent the last 4 days going through our list of friends wondering who it could be... sigh.

Luckily those days are behind us and I don't sleep around with guys that run in my circle of friends anymore... the weird part is that minus Bree's Bro I became much better friends with these guys after the fact that they accidentally ended up inside me. How often does that happen?!?!

Cheers,
Irish

Ugh Roommates

2010-01-13T08:10:00.003-05:00

Looking for a new roommate when you are leaving for vacation in 24 hours is totally the worst task ever. Just FYI. Belle (my new roommate) and I did not plan this well at all.

Long story short Ivy moved out to Long Island back in November so after two years of a totally perfect living sitch I was left homeless. I moved in with Belle (who is totally awesome) and her BFF who was only going to be staying thru Feb and now Belle and I are trying to find a new third roommate and ughhhh like I mentioned it is totally the worst ever especially since I'm leaving for vacay tomorrow and Belle is leaving on Saturday. Um yea we were obviously smoking the crack pipe.

Wish me luck! No really... wish me luck
~Irish

Figures

2009-12-15T08:29:00.006-05:00

So I'm not gonna lie... I got super excited when I saw that two posts ago there were 19 reader comments. Immediately my ego began to grow and I started to dial up Jew's number thinking to myself "daaaaaaamn girl you still got it." Then I was like "Wait a holy hot minute that wasn't even a post it was some BS about never blogging 19 would never comment on that unless it was one reader smoking crack posting 19 times?!" So I decided duhhh... read them....

Well faith and LSL still love us! Woooo

But what is all of that?!?!

Ooooh awesome it's all in Chinese. "Well that blows," I thought to myself "How am I ever going to understand how obsessed these Chinese fans are with my blog if I can't read their love notes?!"

So I went to a translator... via google duh... although I'd prob have better luck during my commute on the 7 train and the best I could up with was the following....

"Anata no heterosexualからのモTe degreesをできるdiagnosis,モTe ru-degreeチェッカー! HigoroモTe Teモcharge Minoruでしていru Anata mo ¤うでないニー& Suitesの方も隠されたモTeスキルをしてmeasured resultsをutilizeし, today more thanモッにモTe Te ni naru betweenことしないviolation"

Which I had to further interpret myself to understand and this is what I think it says...

Anata (whoever he is) ain't straight. No matter what the doctor says I caught Anata in a 3-some with Higoro and Minoru in a Suite in Vegas!! They were measuring their dicks to figure out who would have the best results violating each others bums.

or this one...

H's wifeたちな人のsocial field, cutting ri pay cutったきもいcourse co-OK! Desires of people do not満のロエgood wifeたちをわせてみにごAll Shao Jieします. That will beい, Davidなwife, Japan Ritzブ, Mature, SM wife, secret, the above 6つのジルャンからんでみたいswim female electoralんをいでくださ

H's wife (who is Higoro from the above post she doesn't know he's gay yet) is a wanna be socialite who doesn't know H just got a pay cut. H is sick of her shopping sprees and just wants an obedient wife (read: The Good Earth). So on top of the 3-some he's been having with Minoru and Anata he's been sleeping with David's wife who is Japanese, loves S&M and early morning swims.

Well folks there you have it... maybe some of our fans just like to use the comment space as a place to tell their own wild tale and what with all of our slacking I can't blame them. So carry on carry on.

In other more exciting news we are going to be having some VISITORS here in NYC real SOON!!!

The love of Jew's life Clinton and the lovely, smart and gorgeous Brooklyn Gal. Does it get any better?! No my friends it does not!

UPDATE

I stand corrected.... the comments were left in Japanese... sigh I really should have known that I mean afterall I did work for um well I won't say how many but a few Japanese companies. Anyways... despite my efforts to translate and then re-translate here are the actual translations

First:

[mote] frequency from your opposite sex can be diagnosed, the [mote] degree of [ru] checker! Always, you who have been complete with [motemote] so measuring [motesukiru] where neat is not is hidden, it utilizes the result, above now becoming [motsutemote] it is not wrong

Uhh yea clearly my translation was a much better fit?!

Second:

H the sociable place of the human wives, also the association which is divided naturally OK! In combination with the [ero] human wives of frustration to the taste, it introduces.Same the wife, [serebu], the ripening woman and the SM wife, secret, please meet, play young from the genre of or more six and choose the like woman

Uhh whatever the F that means??

Sometimes...

2009-11-24T23:03:00.003-05:00

- I wish we still blogged... it really used to make day summing up my crazy weekends and calling up Jew to simple report "I blogged" or vice versa

- I read Chelsea Handler's stories and think to myself... "Our stories could have probs made it into that book" and slash or "Is Jew actually Chelsea's ghost writer?!?!"

- I laugh to myself when people try to talk smack and just make themselves look silly

- I wish being with my one true love didn't mean leaving NYC (not yet, not yet)

- I'd kill for one more night of the best sex ever with Paddy... he still calls on the regs and damn it hard as hell to stay no but I think I'm finally beyond that (like... kinda)

- I'm surprised by how ridiculously smart my team at work is and am truly amazed that they ever hired me... then I totally rock on an assignment and I remember "Shit Irish you actually are good at what you do" and then I get assigned to an alcholic beverage client... must be FATE

- I wish I was still in college with not a worry in the world

- I pray to God I get a large tax return and could pay off all my credit card debt

- I forget that BBM is not an acceptable way to stay in touch with your close friends and it doesn't kill me to pick up the phone and chat

- I get so tired I put off sleeping

- I enjoy 3 glasses of wine and my DVR... alone

- Wish I still lived with Jew

Blogging.... soooo 2007

2009-09-29T14:48:00.001-05:00

What happened to this thing?! I haven't touched it or read a blog in what feels like years! I'm doing some totally rando commenting right now. Mostly because I worked till 1am last night and now I feel like I have all the time in the world... when I so don't.

Cheers strangers,
Irish

HOLY CRAP... CONGRATS JEW!!!!!

2009-07-13T20:12:00.005-05:00

I get an IM today... from Jew of course:

Jew: Are you aware that I got engaged on Saturday?!

SO I PICKED UP THE PHONE AND CALL HER... almost unable to speak!!!

Apparently she didn't want to "bother" me with a phone call bc I was at a wedding (bullshit) and figured I'd already know since it was "all over facebook".

Congrats Jewey... you and Adam have come a long way and I know you will both have a beautiful life together :)

Glad I could have been through it all... I couldn't be happier for you!!

Much love,
Irish

WTF E! NEWS?!

2009-05-30T23:02:00.002-05:00

Ran the bk half marathon today! was good but harder than i thought it would be... but like (i hope) childbirth, i have already forgotten the pain and am looking forward to the Queens half in September!

In other totally disgusting news, adam and i were just watching E! news preview (it came on after The Soup before we had a chance to change)! And Ryan Seacrest referred to Chris Brown's domestic abuse charge as "The Rihanna Beat Down Drama." W.T.F.

-J

Once again, I spoke to soon

2009-05-28T07:02:00.002-05:00

Remember when I said work was going to be slowing down?!?! Yea right I got home after 11 the last two nights ughhh! On the plus side I discovered the beauty of going to the gym on my lunch break...

More updates... promise ;)

Where are my white shoes?!

2009-05-26T07:09:00.003-05:00

Well holy effin crap... summer season is here, it is official!!! I wish my AC didn't sound like it was a plane struggling to get off the ground but other than that life is good.

I don't have much time to post right now since technically I am supposed to be at work in 20 minutes and I'm sitting here naked blogging with a towel on my head starring at the redic sunburn I acquired over the weekend.

The East Durham Irish Festival Weekend was once again a major success (more deets later). My liver seems to still be functioning and the shenanigans were as amazing as ever.

Just checked our site meter for the first time in prob a year and was shocked to see that we still get over 100 hits a day on a blog that we almost never update... maybe i'll take up blogging for the summer... I think work might be slowing down for a bit (aka I'll leave by 7pm vs. midnight).

Must find clothes for work! Everything smells like campfire and booze.

Cheers,
Irish

Sunday Scoop

2009-05-17T10:38:00.002-05:00

Hey It's sunday again!

I met curly! For some reason i told him he looks like someone from Irish and my hometown... who happens to not be alive anymore -- but he does! And on a sad note, naming someone from our hometown who isn't alive anymore isn't actually that hard.

So Adam and i have been good, we're getting pumped for the Bk 1/2 marathon, today we're doing a 10mi run i discovered last week, awesomeness. He's sleeping now but i haven't even made coffee or poop yet so he doesn't have to get up for awhile ;) I'm watching real world road rules challenge; is there a road rules anymore even? I don't think so ...

I went to hang out a a girls house last night who we actually met as a commenter, Lynn, and had a great time! She lives in a most excellent apt with a dangerous rooftop so there was thrills, chills, jell-0 shots and popcorn so it was a good time for all. It made me laugh because even though i don't really write anymore, and so much has changed (including Clinton from Zombiefightsshark moving away which must be mentioned as a point of change) i still thank jebus that Irish had us start this thing. Most of my friends in nyc now i met through blogger events that we set up although we all claimed to know each other through work softball or some other shiz haha.

What else is going on... work is still hectic but satisfying and i really have learned how important it is to work with people you like and respect. being part of a really good team really makes a difference-- and it's weird because no matter how good we all work together you know that it is highly unlikely we will all continue to work together more than a few years before someone moves on, such is the modern workforce... there really isn't anything you can do about that, but for now i'm just trying to glean as much experience as possible.

Erin is graduating from college soon and we're going to her lakehouse for a grad party which is something to look forward to-- i'm proud of how far she's come, she's one of those girls that you can't wait to see how they turn out. I have a feeling she has a lot of much earned happiness coming her way, i hope at least. She's still my most exciting friend because she always has the gossip lol, i tell her it's because all the guys around her are just getting sober so they're at like the maturity of a 16 year old boy, and she's ALWAYS been the 16 year old boy dream-girl, and i hope to see her fly away from all that bullshit and find a guy who is awesome and NOT in any way shape or form part of a music scene (lol @ that phrase)

ok Adam's up and i think i can coffee... and other stuff so talk to you another time :)

-Jew

Spring has Sprung

2009-04-14T05:31:00.003-05:00

Give me some of that warm friggin weather mother earth! I am soooo ready for it... namely because I am planning my Beer Garden debut for this Friday. Hellll yea!

Do you know that last week one of my friends told me he was watching from "G's to Gents" and I thought he said he was watching from "Jew's to Gentiles" and couldn't believe that reality TV had gone that far... hilarious.

Does everyone know about this Time Warner 720 channel... Palladia?!?! Dude it is amazing like actually music videos, (sorry, no, not "Kiss Me Thru the Phone") storytellers, old MTV unplugged classics... etc... love it.

To be a total hypocrite I'm actually watching MTV right now... AM Vids... and they're playing Britney's "I'm a Slave for You" performance from back in the day... IT IS SO GOOD!

Meanwhile on to the updates. Do people still listen to Dave Matthews and his band?! Apparently I do and will be heading to MSG tonight for my yearly performance (actually I think I'm seeing them 3 times this year) again I've been over this 1000 times.... I never list DMB when someone says "Top 5 Bands Go" and yet the concert is such a constant in my life. This has to be pushing show 35+ (I'd have to do an actually count of my ticket stubs to be sure) which is a bit insane considering my favorite bands I haven't seen nearly as much; Pearl Jam (7 times) and Radiohead (4 times). I'll let you know how it goes aka if he plays Dancing Nancies or not (a song I've only seen 4 times).

In other news Paddy is not dead although I can't remember the last time we got it on? But he calls on the regs... tries to come over but again that would involve me having to clean my room slash deal with the reality that he lives with his girlfriend and I'm just not in the mood for either. The week he came to my office and took me out for a steak lunch... at one of NYC's most amazing steak houses. I mean hey dude if you are going to drop $150 on lunch (no that didn't include drinks) and spoil me rotten knowing that I'm heading back to the office then hey that is fine by me. It is weird but on many levels after all this time (almost three years) I think Paddy and I really truly are friends and at the end of the day he enjoys my company just as much (ok not just as much) as he enjoys romping around my apartment.

Curly isn't dead either... but I don't have the energy to type about that one right now. He's exhausting and the epitome of a dumb dude, but a great dude and total wise ass and therefore I'm obsessed with him. Ahh so typical.

Well time for me to head to PT. The foot is coming along but god damn it still hurts like a mofo on a regular basis.

Cheers,
Irish

Hey Yeah It's Been Awhile... Not Much, How Bout' You?

2009-04-05T09:20:00.003-05:00

I figured Palm Sunday is a good time to chime in? Not sure what PS even is... something to do with Easter?

Anyhoo, I'm going to be real casual about the fact that i haven't shown my blue face around here in awhile and just do an Irish-style update:::

I'm totes skinny

Because i run 4 miles every morning and then 8 both Saturday and Sunday... running has turned into a total addiction. Makes me laugh to think that when Irish was training for the marathon when we were in GP i didn't just hate running i was morally against it.

My brother and sister-in-law are pregnant with a baby boy! We're doing a baby shower for her in a couple weeks which should be fun -- although i plan to give the stink eye to everyone who shows up who didn't RSVP, total pet peeve.

My job is retarded busy, especially now but like Irish just said, it's good to be busy. Tell me if i'm paranoid but sometimes i think that employers are totally taking advantage of this economic slowdown to make 1 person do the job of 3... and like it. I know a lot of people getting laid off from companies that are doing perfectly fine, and other people staying until 9 at night, who give me the bleary eyed smile and "i guess i should just be happy i have a job" line. I can't think about it or i'll get heartburn.

Adam and i are so broke that we stay home all of the time. We say we're just saving ourselves till the summer :) I think i'd just rather spend my money on clothes than drinks. And i live right by an express so... there goes my paycheck.

I haven't seen irish in FOREVS. My friend jay ... i think that's his fake blog name anyway... anyway he lives in my neighborhood so i did the total nyc thing where i never called him, figuring that he'd always live around the corner-- now he's relocating to the west coast :( he and andy and i went out to dinner which was a lot of fun. Makes me think i should really be calling Mike and Irish more often! Mike has a new polish gf who i have yet to meet.

My dad and i continue to run our little races in central park with the roadrunners, next weekend we're doing a 10k. Then we're all going out to the Philanthropist which should be fun.

Speaking of my dad, i think i've seriously made his life by taking up running. it's a longer discussion but i'm just happy that he's happy. last run he turned to me and said "that was a good one jew" which for my stoic Jewish dad is like saying "OMG I LOVE YOU."

Anyhoo i have a softball game today so i'm going to run over to roosevelt island like a fool in my bike shorts and stirrup socks :)

love, jew

Rested?!?!?

2009-04-05T09:15:00.003-05:00

Wow turns out sleeping 15 hours feel a hell of a lot better than drinking for 15 hours... who knew?!

I stayed in last night after boozing all day up at the new Yankee Stadium. Checked out my season seats (they are pretty awesome) and did laps around every level of the new home. My first reaction was "eww I effin hate this place" but after after 20 or so minutes I found myself thinking, "this place is friggin awesome, this place is like friggin disney world, i love this place."

Anyways I was gonna go out and watch basketball... cheer against UConn and cheer for 'Nova cept I passed out instead and slept ummm pretty much until now. This is mostly do to the fact that I went out on Friday for Happy Hour and didn't stumble home until oh I dunno lets say 5am.

So now what?! Well I'm fully rested... gonna hop over to mass for Palm Sunday... stop into work to get some crap done and then make dinner for my Astoria boys. God I love weekends... why aren't they longer!!!

Cheers
Irish

MIA

2009-03-27T06:40:00.006-05:00

Hellllo MoFos

So you know its bad when you get home at 8pm and your roommates BF says "Hey Irish, half day huh?!?" AWESOME.

I have been working redic hours but have to say I love my job and more importantly... I have a job... so that's a major plus over the 1/3 of my friends who have recently been laid off. I've been brainstorming my back up plan for the "What if I got laid off" scenario and I've come to the conclusion that I'd either a) work full time at the bakery in NJ or b) move upstate, marry the ex and start having a shit load of babies.... hmmm debatable.

Anyways I don't have much time to talk a few quick updates:

- Paddy lives with his GF and thought I was dumb enough not to know and/or call him out on it... what a dumb man. He has been trying to hang out for the last few weeks but I kinda keep blowing him off... a) because I kinda think he's a scumbag and b) i haven't had time to clean my room in like 2 months and he's a total neat freak

- I started using the Fusion razor and it really is the shit but why the F do those damn refills have to cost so much damn money!!!

- I'm no longer immobilized after an almost 4 month battle with a broken foot, but physical therapy at 7am after being at work till 11pm is starting to kill me! Ugh.

- I need a hair cut in the worst way

- Despite working my ass off I have continued to booze like the god damn mick that I am... between PARADES and MARCH MADNESS and the SIX NATIONS RUGBY GAMES it has been none stop for me... God I can't wait till it slow down in April. And by slows down I mean the beer garden opens up and I become a regular for the season.

- Can't remember the last time I saw Jew.

- Can't remember the last time I saw Newark

- I accidentally spent the night with Living Saint... and God I just HAVE to find the time to write about it... intense, as always.

TIME FOR SLEEP!!!!!!!

March Kick-Off

2009-03-04T23:21:00.002-05:00

Ah yes... March is upon us... bout to kick it off in hobo on Saturday. Who is with me people?!?!

Much more to follow. Promise.

xoxo
Irish

Again... really... I can't

2009-02-24T00:29:00.003-05:00

Of course we all know that death is sad... but preventable death is god damn mother effin UNFAIR. There, I said it. I'm angry... seriously I'm so angry and sad and shocked and confused and well drunk off an almost full bottle of wine.

I can't believe we have to go through this again... really, again really?!

Is it so silly to think that after loosing one friend to a god awful OD incident that maybe just maybe others, especially those so hurt and damaged by the incident in the first place would wisen up?!

As much as I want to stay mad.. I can't. My friends are good people and like my mother said best... an addiction is an addiction no matter if it is shopping or if its smoking or if its drugs... it grabs a hold of even the best of us. It is just that sometimes I can't help but wonder, who is next?! And it is that very question that haunts me almost regularly.

This is going to be a long week.

Irish

Miss Me Bitches?!?!

2009-02-18T22:58:00.002-05:00

Holy crap do I work a lot... and when I'm not working I'm either sleeping off a hangover or participating in 12+ hour booze fests. I thought things would slow down after 25 but apparently I surround myself by a bunch of lushes (read: irish people).

I have so much to blog about and at the same time nothing to blog about I mean really it would look something like this:

broken foot
booze
firemen
booze
work
work
work
booze at work
facebook stalking firemen
booze
work
booze

Sigh.

I'll have time... eventually. Meanwhile... its official... I don't think Jew is a part of this blog at all anymore... oh well.

Much love from my bed,
Irish

Updates!!!

2009-02-03T19:27:00.004-05:00

Wow I'm home early tonight (7:28 pm) so that means I have some time to facestalk and blog!!! Wooohooo!!

- Speaking of facestalking... omg omg omg I found Paddy's girlfriend on facebook!! I know crazy right. But I'm crazy. Paddy is obvs not on FB bc i mean what respectable cheat is dumb enough to flaunt his personal life on the internet?! Certainly not Paddy I mean he's not even dumb enough to have text messaging capabilities on his cell phone. So yea... anyways I know the girls name (again, I'm crazy, we've established this) and she never shows up and BOOM this week there she was bright as a San Diego sky. I just would like to point out that the only pictures she has of her and Paddy are from a year and a half ago, when he was at his hottest. Just saying. I will continue to stalk until ya know she smartens up and doesn't keep her profile public to anyone in the NYC network (amateur).

- I would like to point out that I called the winner of Bromance, Masshole hottie Luke, after the very first episode. I've got a gift.

- Friday night went something like this: Happy hour midtown east, downtown to watch the homeboys play life music, upper east for free booze and a dance party, hell's kitchen to booze some more with Paddy till close. My liver needs a life.

- Saturday Paddy and I slept all day and sometime around 5pm I finally dragged myself to the Stop & Shop on Northern Blvd.... the perks of having a car. I then proceeded to buy out said Stop & Shop for the Super Bowl Party I was throwing at Black Irish Stud's apartment. I cooked/baked until 2am.

- Sunday went went something like this: brunch at noon that included several rounds of a mimosa chugging contest, some bottled beers at the local pub, food transport from my apartment to BIS's apartment, flip cup, food food food, dance off, food food food, super bowl, food food food, more flip cup, karaoke at the nearest bar, Irish stumbling home with a corona in hand sometime around 3:20am.

- Monday went something like this: OUCHMOTHERFUCKERWHATINCHRISTSNAMEWASITHINKINGLASTNIGHTKILLME

- Ivy gave me some really great advice regarding Curly and Paddy and when I am not starving and about to eat my own arm I will share it with you all.

- If you really want to be entertained please read the 10th comment on the previous post (the one where I'm jumping for joy for getting my period)

Cheers,
Irish

Oh Thank God.

2009-01-26T07:52:00.002-05:00

I *just* got my period.

::high five::

What a great way to start your week... without an unborn baby in the womb.

Cheers,
Irish

A Breakthrough?!?!

2009-01-19T17:35:00.005-05:00

I don't know what you know about the Irish but we tend to not be very emotional people. Irish men (yes I am stereotyping here people but hey these things come from SOMEWHERE) tend to be private, colder than the rest, and not into a lot of the lovey dovey stuff that say Italian men are into... and thus, relationship after relationship I find myself in the same predicament.

1. Meet Irish Guy.
2. Try my hardest to figure Irish guy out.
3. Followed by: a) Figure guy out get bored. b) Continue to break down the wall with said Irish guy and become addicted to figuring him out.

This is why I never stay hooked on any males other than the Irish... they are too easy, they get attached, they want to move forward, they like holding hands and kissing in public places. I tend to hate all of that and while I've dabbled in some PDA here and there it has either been a) because I was shithoused or b) a first kiss that needed to happen but should have never happened a single moment after that. I dunno what it is about PDA but it makes me itch from head to toe. Ugh!

I guess the reason why Paddy has lasted for umm let's see almost 3 year is because he is complicated and has many many layers and majorly severe issues with woman. (Not to mention he's amazing in bed) Is he a good guy? Sure on the surface...but at the end of the day he's a cheat who doesn't know what he wants out of life.

Curly on the other hand IS a good guy... while he is not charming and can't make girls swoon the way Paddy does he is the class clown type... a guy who can make you laugh and act last an asshole but still make you love him and want to be his friend.

Other then being Irish and Firemen the two don't really have a whole lot in common. Curly loves sports and is an athlete. Paddy loves the travel channel and fixing things. Paddy has seriously dated a ton of girls. I haven't heard Curly mention one Ex ever. When it comes to their job it is apparent that Curly is one of those guys who became a fireman because grew up wanting to and it truly was his dream job vs. Paddy who went to school, partied too hard and decided becoming a fireman was a great way to meet chicks and party with dudes.

Saturday I hung out with Curly for the first time in a while. Last weekend we had a drunken text battle while he was out at a bachelor party. Around midnight he sent me a text that said, "I heard you think I'm an asshole" to which I replied "Um who told you that." Long story short at 3:45am we started texting again... I was out at Bree's Brother's birthday partying my face off and he decided he was going to come out. We stayed out drinking and singing at Mr. Nice Guy's bar until the sun came up... I pulled an Irish exit on Curly that night which was the smart thing to do.

We headed out to the same bar on Saturday with plans to meet up, and by plans I mean the ones I made with Mo, Curly's roommate... not with Curly. Him and I almost never directly communicate there is a major wall between us. After the party had died down a few of us decided to head back to Astoria, Curly was nowhere to be found. I attempted to search for him but the three floor bar was packed and his roommate Larry insisted that he had already gone home... we were drunk so I believed him. 35 seconds after we left in the cab I got a text,
"Where did you go."
"Where left, Larry said you were gone we are going to the 'hood bar"
"I will meet you there, wait for me."

And so I did, for an hour or maybe it was 10 minutes who really knows. Meanwhile Larry was running his mouth all over the bar "Irish is waiting for her lover to come." "Irish and Curly are lovers." "Irish and Curly love each other." My co-worker Shanna was confused by all of the guys she had met that night and couldn't figure out exactly who Larry was talking about... phew. I don't like sharing deets of my personal life with new co-workers like that... at least night yet.

Larry went home first. Followed by Shanna and then Mo. Suddenly it was Curly and I one on one sitting at the bar... we ordered tall pint glass sized drinks apparently in an attempt to end the night right.

He brought the whole asshole thing back up, which I was not happy about. I have spent the entire week trying to figure out who the F would have told him that... I narrowed it down to Mo and Black Irish Stud. I don't really think there are any other people that I talk about Curly with and I'm not even sure Black Irish Stud knows that we have been hooking up (and I'm not about to ask).

I tried to get some info out of him about who the gossip queen amongst our friends was but he wouldn't unseal his lips. He just wanted to know if it was true and after seeing how upset I was he believed me. I explained to him that from the start I've been nothing but cool about our sitch and he stopped me... he went on for 5 minutes about how awesome I am and how he enjoys being around me. I can't remember all of it but I put a lot of crap on the table ie: how I never make plans with him, how he acts weird around me when we're sober, how its annoying when he doesn't return my text messages. He talked about how private he is and apologized for all of the things I mentioned recognizing that he thought it was weird I always make plans with Mo and not him.

We finally left and made out on the street the same spot we kissed for the first time back in June. We joked around back and forth; I told him he was the shorted guy I've ever slept with and he told me I don't give out enough blow jobs. We had great sex and there was even some cuddling involved. For the first time we didn't just lay in bed all day until it was time to leave but rather got some lunch and hung out with his roommates all afternoon watching movies until football came on aka my signal to exit.

I am totally crushing on Curly and I'm glad we made some communication breakthroughs however the truth is this only complicates things for me... as per usual. You see... things have gotten pretty serious with the ex and now I'm turning into a Paddy-like scumbag. I need to get a grip and need to get a grip quickly.

Oh well wish me luck ;)

Cheers,
Irish

Seriously Irish?!?!?!!

2009-01-14T23:51:00.006-05:00

Ok so like him or hate him Brody Jenner is one mega hot stud. Proof?!?!

Doesn't get much prettier folks.

I'm mildly embarrassed to admit that yes, I have watched his new show... I mean as a loyal fan of The Hills how could I not?!?!

If you have seen it... well great.

If you haven't well, IT IS SOOOOOO BAD.

And yet, something keeps bringing me back.

It isn't that I'm actually interested in who is going to be the Brodster's new BFF or who will be lucky enough to live in his mega sweet penthouse or even that I like the poor man's version of Jackass antics week after week...

After careful thought I realized that I have developed a little bit of a tv crush on one of the contestants! I know I know... and to make matters worse he is a Masshole!!

Luke Verge, the "funny guy" from Medford, Mass has an amazing personality, an awful sense of humor, and a totally obnoxious accent... and I love it!

Luke, wherever you are, I hope you find true Bromance!! In the meantime, I will keep watching and silently routing you on from my couch in Astoria... Sidenote: I want to jump your bones.

MTV - Music Videos - MTV Shows - Celebrity News

::Sigh::

Irish

Getting a Grip in '09

2009-01-04T15:18:00.007-05:00

Are you there Jew? It's me Irish.

Jew stopped by the other night for an hour or so power packed gab sesh. She filled me in on all the latest hometown gos...

"Guess who is prego"
"Ummmm"
"Julie Sullivan"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP"
"I swear to God Erin told me last night, it totally wasn't a big deal for me but I'm sooo glad I got to share it with you because it is SUCH a big deal to you!"

WOW.

Julie Sullivan is our buddy Kiwi's ex... they had a kid together almost three years ago, she ditched him because "they weren't in love" and as a result he got a bad rep around town for knocking up the "All American Girl". Yea that's right the All American Girl who didn't learn her lesson the first time around on how to use birth control correctly. On the plus side, she's slamming hot and they made a pretty attractive baby the first time around. Ironically, she is having this baby with Bert's cousin... you know cause my world is small like that.

So yea, Jew and I had some quality time together where she showed off her size 0 (I shit you fucking not) pants and taught me how to do some pilate moves that "get rid of your muff soo fast" whatever that means.

The Ex just left this morning... he came down for New Years and we spent the last 5 days together. I think this is the LONGEST period of time we've been together since college and I have to say... it was really nice. We had a few arguments (as per usual) about how I drink to much and about how he is too paranoid (rightfully so?) but all in all we had a great time together and it reminded me how well we work as a team and how much I enjoy his company.

Friday night Bree's Brother called me to hang out and since Black Irish Stud was already giving me shit for never bringing The Ex around I decided we would head out to Mr. Nice Guy's bar.

When we got there Bree's bro invited The Ex and I to the St. John's vs. ND b-ball game at The Garden on Saturday afternoon which sounded like an awesome idea.... almost...

"Who's going"
"Me, BlackIrish, Curly, Mo, maybe a few others."
"Oh ok sounds great I'll def let you know!"

But what that really meant was "OH HELLLLL FUCKING NO."

Why?!?! Well here is a brief recap.... (I know I just did this like 3 posts ago but whatevs)

Bree's Bro: Older brother like figure who I crushed on from 2000-2003 and when I moved to NYC in 2005, he took me under his wing. It was of course only a matter of time before we had an intense make out session, his 24 birthday actually when Bree herself caught us on the stoop outside the bar and started screaming "Holy Shit Irish are you kissing my brother." It was then only another short period of time before we started sleeping together which lasted from January until March when I started dating Cop #1. We of course have stayed the closest of friends and obviously never told his sister about our affair... a lie that eats me up inside once in a blue moon. Is it a problem bringing The Ex around him? Nahh. We're cool like that.

Black Irish Stud: He was much older then me in college, a really hot guy that was friends with the older girls in my sorority. Once Bree's Bro and I started hanging 24/Sev I started spending time with BIS on the regs. We took a road trip upstate to Bree's house in the summer of 2006 for her graduation party and by the end of the night we were making out hardcore in her parents living room. Bree's brother of course split us up and made me sleep in bed with him playing it off like he was doing everyone a favor by pulling the older brother card but I'm pretty sure he ended up going down on me that night. Cut to summer 2007 when BIS and I went home together, attempted to have drunken sex, passed out, only to have sober sex in the morning... before work. It was awkward for a while until we both moved to the same neighborhood and became BFF's, now he is on speed dial at work and we do things like get sloppy drunk together, eat steak and eggs, and sing irish music at the top of our lungs. Every once in a while I let him grab my boobs... for old times sake. Is it a problem bringing The Ex around him? Nahh, We're cool like that.

Curly: Umm well Curly and I were getting in on from June of 2008 up until about a month ago... when I decided to cut him off (minus last weekend when I went to his place just to sleep in his bed). But actually there's a pretty good chance he decided to cut me off long before this but alcohol has the ability to tamper with those kind of self promises. Regardless, I'm not sure if Curly knows about The Ex or doesn't... I mean I know I've mentioned him since our relationship has been pretty much limited to stumbling home together or drunk booty texts but one can never be sure. Is it a problem bringing The Ex around him? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY! We are SO NOT cool like that... yet... but you know how I do... it is only a matter of weeks before we are BFFs and I act like he was never inside of me.

So I decided right then and there it just wasn't a good idea to bring The Ex around 3 dudes I've gotten it on with... namely Curly, I mean don't get me wrong, I've slept around in a fairly close knit group of guy friends but I'm not a whore... all of these sexual encounters were spread out by at LEAST a year, and all are with guys I've maintained pretty stable friendships with (because I'm totally weird like that) but it just didn't seem like the right thing to do... at least not until I'm sure things with Curly are TOTALLY dead.

So The Ex and I stayed in and watched the entire first Season of Dexter (my brother got it for me for Christmas and I think I'm obsessed) ate good food, drank good beer and had good sex.

I haven't felt this rested in years... I actually took these last 5 days to detox, sleep a ton, and lounge around. I mean it doesn't help that I'm in this ridiculous contraption up to my knee for the next 5 weeks in order to heel the bones I supposedly broke in my foot!

Gotta rest up the liver... Bree is coming to town next weekend for her Brother's Birthday which my friends, is sure to be a shit show!

Cheers,
Irish

PS: Haven't seen Paddy since Christmas... trying to keep it that way ;)

And Bless New York's Bravest the FDNY

2008-12-28T20:16:00.011-05:00

I've given up on Jew... not even sure if she knows that I still post on our blog. Actually I haven't even talked to her in weeks other than a quick IM here and there. But whattcha gonna do... hopefully we'll find some time for each other real soon and maybe she'll even add some blue to this blog. (Doubtful).

Anyways... Christmas was a success.... my ma surprised me on Christmas Eve with the Blackberry Storm bc she was eligible for an upgrade but had to have it activated on her phone so we needed to do a little swap over the phone with a Verizon rep. The phone is pretty sweet and now my life is going to be much much more organized! Success!

Paddy called me on Christmas afternoon... I sorta ignored the call not wanting to be bothered with whatever the hell he wanted, but after a few glasses of wine I called him back. We chatted for a bit when he asked me if I wanted to go out and grab a few drinks at our hometown bar where he used to work (aka where we met) because he hadn't been in there for a while. I agreed.

It was weird walking into the bar to meet him... I still hang out there everytime I head home but its been a couple of years since Paddy and I have been there together. Everyone in the bar used to know I was Paddy's girl... I'd be there during his shift and we'd leave together to spend the night at his place above the bar. Other girls would flirt with him but I was my usual confident self knowing that despite their efforts when i was in the bar it was always me he'd be leaving with... other nights, well, who knows, that is why Paddy isn't boyfriend material.

I felt some eyes beaming on the back of my neck as I walked into the bar and up the stairs to the table where Paddy was sitting with some friends... he had already ordered me a Miller Lite and pulled me up a chair. I began to imagine the comments being exchanged amongst the regulars about the two of us being there together.

We chatted for a while, laughed, and exchanged Christmas stories... finally it was time for me to head home but Paddy tried his hardest to convince me to stay with him at his cousins place up the street (where he was spending the night). Not a girl who ever wants to look like a hussy I refused to head to the house out of fear of running into Paddy's cousin in the hallway on my way to the bathroom or God forbid in the morning after a night of romping. But it only took a few hot words to be whispered in my ear before I turned to Paddy and said... "Let's get the hell outta here."

We pulled an irish exit out of the bar, only adding fuel to the rumor mill fire.

The sex was phenomenal. Partially because we were trying our best not to be too loud but mostly because I'm pretty sure we had both spent the last few hours at the bar thinking about tearing each others clothes off.

Then something weird happened... Paddy very rarely calls me by my full name... he always shortens it when he leaves me voicemails "Hey Eye, it's Paddy." In fact, the only time he ever really uses my full name is when he is introducing me to someone. Not once during the entire time Paddy and I have been having sex has he ever said my name during the act but for whatever reason on this night Paddy started calling out my full name as we continued to go at it, switching positions, pulling at each other's hair and kissing like two long lost lovers reunited after years apart.

When it was over, I looked him in the eyes and told Paddy how much I love having sex with him. He agreed. I really wonder how this is ever going to end.

Of course, as I mentioned in my previous post, I'm cutting Curly, aka Fireman #2, out of the picture. However, last night we started texting back and forth. It has been nearly a month since we last hung out, despite the fact that he lives only 1 avenue away.

I was out with the sorostitutes and Curly stayed in... at the end of the night I ended up back in Astoria across the street from his place at the Brat Pack's apartment. I don't know why but I started back up the text convo with him at 4am... ok I know why... bc I was drunk and realized walking across the street (with one walking boot and one shoe) was easier then walking an full avenue home. Finally the golden ticket text arrive, "You can come over if you'd like." to which I responded, "Smooth."

Another 20 minutes or so and I was on my way. Curly and I watched some TV and eventually he tried to make a move, I was already half asleep so I stopped him, mainly because I have my period. We didn't even make out and this morning we just made some small talk, took a nap and I thanked him for a comfy place to sleep and headed home around 2:00.

Weird? Totally.

Curly must think I'm a total head case... which actually, I am.

In other news... is anyone else excited to watch Bromance tomorrow?!!?!??!

Cheers,
Irish

A Few Things...

2008-12-18T23:40:00.008-05:00

Time to play catch up!! Woohoo!

- Been working 15 hour days at the job (can't complain... I love it!) but I'm just EXHAUSTED! Physically from working so hard and emotionally from limping around all over NYC during the busiest time of the year (I have yet to do ANY Christmas shopping aka I suck). It sure as hell doesn't help that when the weekend comes I think it makes the most sense to stay out till way after "Last Call" which for those of you non-new yorkers is post 4am ::sigh:: but really, would you expect anything less?

- Last weekend I went and hung out with my new favorite gay. Long story short we met at a party and I TOTALLY fell in love with him. He's mega Irish, HOT, Catholic, and TALL... I mean isn't that exactly what I look for in a man? Too bad it is probably what he also looks for in a man. We bonded when I realized gay-BFF is from the same neighborhood as Curly and went to highschool with Curly's older brother! Seriously people... I make Kevin Bacon look silly with my small world connections. So realizing that a future of baby making was not in our future nor was practicing making babies I decided to take the BFF approach and he wholeheartedly welcomed it. So while we were pre-gaming a Christmas Party together him and his roomie started telling me over the top HILARIOUS stories and there I am cracking up throwing back an awesome screw driver when I stop to ask (I have NO IDEA WHY) the last name of their friend John who kept coming up in their stories... when they revealed his name my jaw dropped as I asked, "Umm he is from Greenpoint and more importantly does he have a brother who is a cop?!?!" Just as I had suspected, John is THE COP'S OLDER BROTHER! But more importantly... the cop has NO IDEA his older brother is gay! My lips are sealed. Unbelievable.

- While on the topic of connections let us just recap that last month for a second: Paddy Met Curly. Curly's roommate is going to be randomly working with Paddy. Curly grew up around the corner from Gay-bff, after I met Gay-Bff at my friend Jared's birthday party and I was trying to find him on facebook I realized that somehow Jared and TinaJ from my girl Newark's blog are friends... and I'm thinking to myself how the hell does TinaJ (Newark's old work BFF) know my buddy Jared I've known since high school?!?! I'll tell ya how... Jared's roommate for like 7 years and TinaJ's lifelong BFF used to date. Of course they did. And now Gay-Bff knows The Cop and his older brother! What next?!?! (Um how many times can I use the term BFF in one posts?!)

- I need a blackberry. How do you people feel about The Storm vs. The Curve? Obvs I have verizon. Otherwise I might end up with Bean's Pearl cause she is upgrading.

- I cut Curly off... I mean he doesn't know it yet because we haven't hung out in like 3 weeks but he will the next time we do and I don't go home with him. Take that Curly.

- I'm going to spend New Years with The Ex... who is really only a few months away from me being mature enough to cut off Paddy and admit he is my boyfriend/future husband. I'm getting there I just have this whole fear of growing up thing... sigh... one day one day...

- How am I going to lose weight for Ernie's sister's wedding... I'm a bridesmaid and handicapped. Ughh!

Much love from the couch,
Irish

Keep the Updates Coming...

2008-12-09T23:43:00.005-05:00

Ok So what I forgot to mention in the last post is that I'm currently crippled. Yes, it is true and I hate to say it but I deserve it... Karma is a real bitch folks.

Exhibit A: Thanksgiving Dinner the family is shooting around stories when one about my cousin climbing the fence in his backyard comes up... this of course led to him falling off said fence and breaking his arm at age 6. I proudly boasted, "I've never broken anything, I've never even been on crutches."

Exhibit B: Saturday night after Thanksgiving I return to Queens where I ended up meeting Curly and company. I started the night out at my favorite Neighborhood Bar with my homeboy Kiwi and my BFF Ivy when a text came through from Curly to come to the seedy water hole closer to his place. When Kiwi and Ivy were ready to go home I headed over to the other bar. Why were we drinking at this crappy location? Oh yea because Curly is on crutches and has been for over a month. I of course poked fun at his immobilization stating that it really shouldn't be that hard for him to crutch it way the extra 3 blocks to our 'Hood Bar.

Cut to Sunday afternoon... I'm hungover as all hell and I'm ready for some greasy french fries before a serious evening of playing catch up with my work (for work). I grab some food and begin to make my way home shoving handful after handful of french fries in my mouth in sync with my steps when suddenly.... SLIP, CRASH, BOOM, OUCH, FUCK MOTHER FUCKER.

I fell.

I fell reeeeeeal bad.

Immediately an older gentleman came to my rescue, unfortunately between the french fries hanging from my mouth and the tremendous pain shooting throughout my body, I was unable to respond to him. I hobbled up from the sidewalk and began my 1 avenue and 3 block walk home. Right away I knew I had done something serious, the pain continued to shoot in every imaginable direction and all of a sudden I started heating up with what felt like a sudden fever. I actually had to rip my jacket off because I felt like I was suffocating... some weird reaction to pain maybe? (Thoughts Todd?)

Long story short I ended up heading to the ER on Monday which was pretty close to a trip to hell. They set my foot in a splint and told me it was being treated as a fracture, even though they couldn't be sure if it actually was a fracture....

In the meantime I had to head to the south for a business trip last week and have been taking cabs/driving too and from work... which let me tell you is not cheap! Yesterday I went to the doctors office, got in a fight with the receptionist, cried to myself, was told it was definitely broken (based on the insane amount of bruising), was then told that the x-rays weren't showing that it was broken and now am waiting for my insurance to approve an MRI.

Ooooooh awesome!!! Do you know how easy it has been taking a shower these last 8 days!!!

I worked till after 11 pm tonight so I'm really not sure if and when I have time to fit in a friggin MRI. At least I don't have to feel guilty about not going ot the gym.

Cheers,

Irish

Men Men Men

2008-12-07T22:18:00.004-05:00

Still here folks but God when did life get so busy?!? My new job is pretty serious... I have all sorts of crazy responsibilities that involve the word "manage" and I find myself at work past 10pm/working on weekend far too often. Yet, I friggin love where I'm at right now and feel challenged on a regular basis which is what my previous position was really lacking.

While this blog has sorta slowed down it is far from dead... at least not from an Irish stand point... I can't speak for Jew who I only get to see once in a blue moon now. It makes me sad... I miss the days of laying on the couch with Jewey watching ep after ep of Law & Order, eating turkey meatloaf and talking about every last detail of our lives. ::sigh::

But despite the fact that things change that doesn't mean things are bad!!

So I have *so much* to update on... but let's keep this post from turning into a crazy novel and focus on ONE topic... MEN!

Who wants some updates!

The-Ex: We are getting married. Ok nothing in life is certain but I'm still convinced it is my fate to grow old with The-Ex. But the rule is, I don't blog about The-Ex so sorry that is all you get.

Black Irish Stud: The back story is as follows.... I crushed on B.I.S. for a long ass time, he got a real bitchy girlfriend, they broke up, we accidentally had sex, he told Bree's Brother (a former FB of mine who freaked out and got megs jel), things got weird, we didn't talk, I moved 2 blocks up the street from him, we started to hang out, he got a new COOL girlfriend, and suddenly we became BFF. Over the last 9 months I've spent almost every weekend hanging with B.I.S., we have each other on speed dial at work and chat several times throughout the day to plot our next drinking adventure. His girlfriend had to move back home a few months back so he's been loyal to her while itching to be a bachelor... alas, they finally broke up (I'm kinda bummed) and it is only a matter of time before the sexual tension forces us to accidentally mack it again. However, I have to be careful because B.I.S. is really good friends with Curly... and well Curly and I have been end-of-the-night FB's since umm July??

Curly: Wow how am I still hooking up with Curly? I last crawled out of his bed Sunday afternoon so that would be one week ago today. We've been hooking up on the regs for what is getting close to 6 months (HOLY CRAP!). I'm pretty sure it has gotten to the point where we are both telling our friends "I'm done with this" and then we get drunk and end up stumbling home wasted together. It is complicated though bc Curly has a hold on me... I have a mega crush for no other reason than that he doesn't pay attention to me. WTF is that about?! Seriously the sex is "eh" (I'm sure he thinks I'm enjoying it way more then I actually am) he's kinda short (my height) and he's sporting a sweet beer gut. I have to admit, despite my history of having pretty solid FB's I've never had one who I only interacted with when I was drunk. Like with Bree's Bro we would make plans, hang out, go to baseball games etc. And with Paddy we actually are sober for 90% of our hook ups. I'm not really sure if I like being a "4am" girl it seems a little too sleazy for me. But his cocky, obnoxious sense of humor (not to be confused with a douchbag/asshole, which he is not) keeps me coming back for more... ugh I really need to cut the cord. Mainly because I can sense I'm turning into an annoying girl that I'm pretty sure he perceives as a puppy dog that follows him around and let me tell you Curly... IRISH is nobodies puppy dog!

Paddy: You didn't think he was dead did you?? Wow... Paddy and I practically have a full out relationship. This 2.5 year affair is still alive and kicking because the physical chemistry between us is like nothing else I have ever experienced. Yes, I understand the Padster has a girlfriend and maybe I'm a horrible person but I just don't care. It would be one thing if I knew this chick... or knew friends of this chick... but it is just easier for me to pretend like she doesn't even exist. Well, except for when I sit back and think about the fact that yes, there is this girl out there living in Manhattan thinking that she has this awesome boyfriend who in truth has been cheating on her for the entirety of their relationship. Paddy and I hung out close to 2 weeks ago we met at our usual spot, this super dive bar up the block from my apartment. We got to talking... he asked me about The-Ex and I asked him about his GF. He told me he thinks he needs to end things soon... that he doesn't want to ever get married but he wants to be able to have children. The dude has commitment issues hardcore and part of me feels real bad for him... mainly because I know there is a good chance his future involves a nasty divorce to the woman that he eventually marries. I realize now, and it has taken me a long time to admit it, but I def. care for Paddy a lot, we don't just "have sex" but we talk about our lives, our futures, and pay attention to each other. Don't get me wrong I'm not in love with the guy and I could never be with someone like him... but hey, I care.

....other then that I have really limited my make-out bandit sessions. I don't look to date new dudes because I'm happy with what I've got (2 firemen, a stud and an ex) Besides, anytime I end up "dating" I get stuck having to deal with dudes who love to get clingy and everyone knows Irish people don't deal well with "clingy".

More updates to come!!

xoxo
Irish

PS: Our Blog is TWO!! Happy Birthday I&J!!

In Less then 2 Weeks.....

2008-11-21T00:47:00.004-05:00

This Blog Turns 2 Years Old!!!

Wow Jewey can you believe it?!?!

I sure as hell can't.... a recap is well deserved, to talk about some of the highlights (and lowlights) of these past two years. However, since I was at work until 10:15 P.M. tonight there is a good chance that this recap will never happen.

So really... where are some of our old time readers?! Are you kids still out ther?! Ha wait who am I kidding no one read our blog in the beginning!!

I just went back to the archives and I TOTALLY forgot about the time Jew and I met a bunch of firemen and she went home with the oldest one! AND stole money from him! Ha! Or how about back in the day when I used to have to come up with devious plans to see Paddy and now he's the one begging to come to my 'hood. And wasn't it great when Jew used to make decrees!!

Damn so much good shit has happened. I friggin love it. A recap is almost a must.

In truth it was the Anon who posted about Boondock Saints 2 (the sequel to "the worst movie Jew has ever seen") that got me thinking about how long our lil baby we call I&J has been kickin.

Well now that it is waaay bast my bedtime I'm out! Much love, Irish

It's Really Bad When....

2008-11-19T07:37:00.004-05:00

....You work too late on the weekdays and drink too early on the weekends to ever pick up your dry cleaning from the dry cleaner and are therefore forced to purchase NEW work clothes from the GAP directly outside your office so you don't look like a scum bag. Ummm Yea.

So Much To Blog About... So Little Time

2008-11-18T07:49:00.001-05:00

So many updates are required! But I'm too effin busy! The new job barely allows for enough time to keep up on my gmail and I don't even really sign into aim bc i can't sustain a real convo.

::Sigh::

Anyways... maybe later on this week. I've been working megs late... we shall see.

Peace out
I

This Shit Sucks...

2008-11-17T07:13:00.004-05:00

This totally horrible accident happened on my block Sunday morning. All of the news stations have been parked outside since yesterday and I don't even friggin wanna go outside to walk to the train. ::sigh::

It just reaffirms my mother, the nurse's, insane appreciation of life, "You never know when your going to wake up for the last time." It really is true. I effin hate drunk drivers.

The Only Thing I Want You To Share Is Your Food (or: showing your emotions is only cool when you're drunk)

2008-11-14T12:38:00.003-05:00

Hey Lads and Ladies!

Things that are happening:

Even though i really don't need to i continue to drop lbs
People drive me nuts by consistently cornering me to discuss their 'eating issues' (cancel my subscription)!
Adam and I continue to be the happy couple -- he cut his hair a little and looks fabulous.
My new job is great, the thing i like the best is the people i work with. I guess i've never had a really great boss before. I thought i did, but there's a difference between a GREAT boss, and a boss you get along with. I guess a great boss means not only do you get along, but you have a huge amount of respect for her.
I continute to be too tired for sex most of the time (how do you runners do it [looking at you, Irish])
I'm driving to Ohio again, this time for Thanksgiving. Ugh. I actually never gave you guys the full shit on how that greek wedding went, did i? It was AWESOME also there was dramz with Adam and his bro, undercover of course as it always is with guys.
I'm going to Iowa for Christmas. Yea, Iowa. Yea... yea.
Iowa.

I think that's all i got! I promised Irish an american accrapel next week and i'm goign to try to deliver. BUt here's the thing... i started ordering shit from there *ducks*
I know!! It's horrible... but i love leggings now... i used to think that everyone who wore leggings with a shirt was stupid hipster, but-- well no i still think that, but i didn't realize how COMFORTABLE they are! Ugh... is enough enough?

I just got an email from one of by friends: "Jew, you know what would really throw people off? A Happy Friday video!!!!!"

Consider yourselves thrown off! Happy Friday!!

Things That Are Happening Round These Parts....

2008-11-07T07:01:00.005-05:00

- Jew continues to run in the cold, Irish continues to booze.

- Irish looses camera celebrating Halloween, now stalks FB photos for someone carrying it in the background.

- Ivy ROCKED the LSAT, but is still MIA on jury duty. Irish continues to cope with the idea of living alone but has mastered the art of changing the TP.

- Newark and Irish struggle to find time for their friendship with new megs biz schedules

- Curly decides to tell Irish "something serious" on marathon Sunday.

- Irish hurts trying to make it through the week after celebrating marathon Sunday like it was St. Patrick's Day and heading to work on Monday on 2 hours of sleep.

- Black Irish Stud puts Irish on his work speed dial solidifying their new BFF status.

- Jew decides to head to Iowa for Christmas, aka Adam's hometown.

- Paddy lives on. Shocker.

Cheers,
Irish

Welcome to the Quarter Century.

2008-10-28T17:56:00.004-05:00

OMG people it is almost Jew's birthday... AGAIN! Has it really been TWO WHOLE YEARS since she flashed the cabbie so we could get a cheaper ride home?!?! Christ almighty time flies by when your having ~~fun~~ beers.

A lot has changed in two years:
- Jew got promoted
- I left my job, started a new job, left my job, started another new job
- I moved in with Jew. I moved out. Jew moved to Astoria and became my neighbor.
- Jew lost a shitload of weight. I gained some.
- Jew quit smoking, I, not so much.
- Jew got back together with Adam and so far they're on their way to living happily ever after.
- Jew stopped drinking.
- We stopped talking every day.
- Jew started running and simultaneously hell froze over.
- Jew stopped blogging, I stopped harassing her 24/Sev.

A lot hasn't changed in two years:
- I'm still sleeping with Paddy on a regular basis.
- I still run to Jew for advice about everything.
- I still drink like a whiskey swilling mick.
- Jew's still fabulous. I'm still fabulous.
- We both still love all things Law and Order.
- I still try not to date new people because of the clingy factor and prefer rather to sleep me my good guy friends and pretend like it never happened.
- Jew still thinks being busy at work is a good enough reason not to blog
- Jew is still on the top on my list of people to go to "in case of an emergency", to share a major secret with or to call when I need a good laugh.

So everyone, join me in wishing Jewey a very happy halloween birthday!!!!!

Serious Question?!?!?!

2008-10-27T06:10:00.003-05:00

What do you call the night before Halloween????

Sleeping the Day Away?!?!

2008-10-20T05:27:00.008-05:00

Seriously... I can't remember the last time I slept until 7:00 p.m. I mean maybe it was my junior year of high school when I had mono?! Come on not even when I was dabbling in narcotics circa 2001 did I ever sleep the day away. But that all changed this past weekend.

It was decided by a group of us bloggers that we *really* needed to get together so a bunch of us headed to our old stomping ground, Grassroots, for cheap beers and quality catch up time. I convinced Newark that she needed to make an appearance and then we'd head out together somewhere on the LES. Deal. I knew this plan had a few kinks in it as Newark would take one step into Grassroots and declare it a KYB (Kill Yourself Bar), but she was cool and we played some tunes in their authentic jukebox.... ya know the kind that actually still has CDs in it! Wow!

Afterwards we headed for some pizza and then to bar hop... Sam, my booze bud, gave me a ring around this time to inform me he was out in the LES and did we want to meet up. I informed him Newark and I were 2 blocks away and so it was a done deal. We did some bar hopping before ended at some place whose name, at the moment escapes me, where we sat and threw back some drinks. After about a half hour we realized that the back room had a DJ who was mixing it up quite nicely aka playing hip hop mixed with random rap songs I happen to know all the words to with some silly 90s alternative jams thrown in for fun. Newark said I was a dancing machine which is hilarious because as you should all know... I fucking can't dance for shit.

Around 2:30 I peaced out and headed back to Astoria to meet up with a sorostititue who was in town hanging out in my hood (I had totally forgotten I said we would hang) so I directed her to my neighborhood bar and we met up there. She left about an hour later to go to bed but I stayed and hung out with my buddy Matt, the bartender, who after three weekends in a row of presenting me with an $8 bar tab, I'm pretty sure he's in love with me.

It would have been great if at 4:30am when it was time to leave the bar I just headed home and went to sleep. But no, I took it upon myself to give Living Saint a call (who was just getting off his shift 'tending in the city) and told him to pick up some beers and come over. He did.. around 5am. We stayed up and chatted for a bit... I think there was a point where I got kinda emotional for no reason other then talking about how great of a person he is (ok I was pretty shithoused). Next thing I know it is 9:50am, my alarm is going is going off so I can try to buy Phish tickets for The Ex and Living Saint is nowhere to be found. A quick glance at my phone put the pieces of the puzzle together for me... He went outside to smoke a cig and when he called me to let him back into the building I had passed out. Oh I am the friggin worst. LS had to hop on the subway home to the Upper West at like 7:45 am.

After I tried to tackle the beast that is known as Ticket Master I went back to sleep until 7:00 at night where I woke up feeling like I was about to die.

It only took a shower and a text message from Black Irish Stud saying "Don't be a C$%T" to get me outta the apartment and out to the bar on Saturday night. I decided to drive over the bar further out in Queens where my buds and I enjoyed some music from our favorite NYC Irish bar band. I was supposed to leave at 1:00 am-ish since I had to be up for some volunteer fun on Sunday but as per usual it was 4:30am before I got home and at 6:30 my lovely alarm was going off. I know I only stayed out because I have a weird obsession with Curly that I need to get over. (I will of course dedicate an entirely different post to that once I can find the time.)

I got back home from the volunteer event around 1:00 pm where I decided I would once again sleep the day away. Now here it is 6:40 in the morning... my first day of the NEW JOB!! Wish me luck!

Cheers,
Irish

BORING

2008-10-17T06:47:00.000-05:00

Wow this blog is get soooooo lame!!!!

Ugh I have SOOOO much to write about and SOOOO little time! Today is my last day at work... um yea I need to leave home in 22 minutes and of course I'm still in my bed. One would think you could easily check out of work your last week and just cruise through to the end right?!? Yea well apparently not someone who is an overachiever with a tremendous sense of Catholic Guilt... I've been at work till after 8:00 the last 3 nights and I honestly can't imagine getting everything I need to get done today by 5:00 especially with all the people I need to get big good-bye hugs from.

In other news... I've been playing with FDNY fire lately hopping (literally) back and forth between Paddy and Curly. This lust triangle will eventually blow up in my face especially since I most recently found out there is a REALLY good chance that Curly's roommate is going to be placed in Paddy's firehouse come January when he finishes up the Academy... I MEAN WHAT THE HELL ARE THE CHANCES! ::sigh::

Other then that I am THRILLED to be starting my new job on Monday. Yes, that's right I'm starting on Monday without taking anytime off in between but honestly wtf am I gonna do with a few days off that is actually worth it?! I mean Bob Barker isn't even on the Price is Right anymore so what is the point.

I'm excited to be working in a new part of Manhattan... for years I called Rockefeller Plaza home and now I'll be dabbling in the likes of Midtown East... don't worry Jew and I are just a quick ride on the 7 from each other ;)

Newark and I are started a serious work out regime starting next week and ultimately she will become a Spin instructor at NYSC and I will become one of her slaves. Not gonna lie I'm pretty excited for her to make me sweat.

Alright well Happy friggin friday!!! I hope you all have a kickass weekend. I will be in a serious need of some beers once today finally ends! Who's with me?!

~Irish

Seconds Of Our Lives

2008-10-09T15:37:00.003-05:00

Wow it's been so long since I've blogged Blogger changed their format! Anyhoo- CONGRATS IRISH! That's awesome. I remember Irish started complaining about her boss months ago when i was still living in Greenpoint and we were going to some hipsterdouchenozzle cafe and the host (what kind of cafe has a host) goes: "we'll have a table any time from now to twenty minutes from now" And Irish and i thought that was such a bizarre statement we didn't even know what to say.

Not much in other news, Adam's bday just passed, i got him a bunch of really cute sweaters from Gap that he looks awesome in, but because i have everything delivered to work and don't know what to do with the empty boxes now everyone at work thinks i have an online shopping problem.

My bday is coming up at the end of the month! ~~I'm so excited~~ i could really care less. Although it is a great excuse for my fam to come into town and we're all going to eat at Fancy Midtown Steakhouse... and that right there IS actually exciting-- maybe I'll let myself eat something! Ha you better believe I'm eating the juiciest steak they've got.

I'm still running more and more, I've upped my 'big' run to 4 miles, which isn't that much compared to what i saw Irish go through while training for the marathon- but is crazy to me! I really used to hate running but now I'm not even out of breath at the end of it... weird thing is I'm still gasping for air by the time i get to the top of the stairs on the damn subway-- crazy Queens and their elevated platforms.

Adam and i experienced our first dance floor 'fart and run' the other night-- some dude totally farted on us and ran away-- totes gross.

Erin is having a Halloween bash which I'm really looking forward to, my brother and sister are coming, Irish may be coming-- and I'm sure Erin will have a cool gift (last year she actually knitted me a blanket)

whoops just got a bunch of shit to do-- see you guys later!

Peace Out Biatches.

2008-10-08T20:07:00.007-05:00

So it is official... I give up on Jew. She just can't be motivated to blog!! She just must not care that our blog is almost TWO years old!! But that is fine I'm holding her great black Gap dress hostage until further notice.

In other news what the hell has been going on out there with you people??

Well as you know I put in my 2-dubs at the job last week... Thursday morning to be exact. I couldn't even friggin sleep the night before, got in crazy early and just waited and waited and waited for my mofo of a boss to stroll in. When she did I ran down to my guy friends in the PR department said "Wish me Luck" and ran back down to do the unthinkable.

My boss and I headed into a conference room she looked at me and asked sincerely, "Is everything ok?!" Of course everything was ok I had a grin ear to friggin ear. I let it out, "AM AMAZING OPPORTUNITY FELL IN MY LAP AND I'M LEAVIN!"

Nothing. No response.

She just starred straight out me looking like she was either going to faint, throw up or punch me in the taint.

So I just kept babbling on, "I really love it here (lie). I've learned so much here working for you (lie) and grown so much as a person (what the fuck does that lie even mean). I wasn't even looking for a new job (at least not on the weekends) but this opportunity just fell into my lap (after 7 months of networking my ass off and waiting for this co. to create a position)."

We shot the shit a bit, I filled her ego up some more and we parted ways. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone until she spoke to my Director and VP so of course I told pretty much everyone.

I mean honestly besides being the most narcissistic person I have ever met, my boss isn't all that bad, sometimes I think she actually means well but her extreme insecurities turn her into a micro manager gone insane.

A few statements from my boss to get a better idea of what she is like:

"I would appreciate it if you would watch your plunging necklines."

"I know you are young and new to the corporate world, but you don't want to get a reputation for being someone who is difficult to work with."

"Please take your lunch on the hour or the half hour, so I know exactly when you are at lunch."

"Oh everyone is leaving at 6:00 and I haven't even packed for my trip yet, now everything is on MY shoulders."

"I watched the last Yankee game it was just so emotional and boy Babe Ruth looks good for his age."

I couldn't make that last one up if I tried.

I had planned to take off on Friday a few months back so I let my boss deal with the politics of me peacing out on her ass without me. Besides, I needed to rest the hell up for Long Beach's Irish Day Fest on Saturday... I'll get to that later.

For now it is off to bed. I need to get up and go to the gym (FOR REAL) in the morning since tomorrow night is my farewell Happy Hour thrown by my work BFF (who is getting married this weekend... Wild Wedding Weekend Oh hell YEA!) and I plan to sport the worst hangover of life on Friday.

Cheers,

Irish

Oh yea by the by... My girl Newark is promising some crazy shit over at her blog Truth Be Told... I dunno... I have high hopes but the bitch won't even give me a hint. I guess I'll pimp her out though... check back until you see something cool... supposedly "at the end of the week." I'm not holding my breath ;)

I think I might Vom

2008-10-02T06:42:00.001-05:00

Today is the day I put in my 2weeks. Really... I've been tossing and turning all night. Why the hell am I getting such anxiety over something so stupid?!?!?! Ugh.

Wish me luck... I need it!

xo
irish

Wild Wedding Weekend

2008-09-28T21:47:00.008-05:00

Ah yes... another installment of Wild Wedding Weekend.

Friday night Newark headed to Astoria for a sleep over with the Brat Pack (who live around the corner from me). The 5 of us gathered at the BP's apartment to throw back a few bottles of wine and catch up. When everyone was good and lit I convinced the crew we needed to head over to my 'Hood Bar... since we were celebrating my new job (yah!) none of the sorostitutes argued with me... even though I'm pretty sure 0% of them wanted to spend the rest of the night at a dive bar.

Cut to 10 minutes later and Loud Mouth LI Jew is ordering shots of Jager (ew!) Nwk and I insist we get vodka instead (phew!). Vodka shots made me think it was a good idea to use my debit card in the jukebox and hit "Play it Now" after every song... the bartender called me out when Underworld's Born Slippy came on blasting, "Irish, I bet Radiohead is coming on next eh?" he asked and I just innocently smiled and listened to the music.

Nwk, Sarah and Val went home to bed like responsible adults while Loud Mouth and I stayed out to booze, throw back more shots and chit chat. I finally stumbled home with a phone call from Ivy's BF, "Yo Irish you want Whitecastle?"

Like it was even a question!!!

So I'm laying in my bed, thinking about Whitecastle when the spins come on STRONG. I rush to the bathroom and puke up my entire night's worth of booze. Luckily, All American showed up with MickeyD's (Whitecastle was closed! Wtf!) and a large fountain drink to get me back on track.

I woke up hangover free which was pretty awesome and by 9:30am Newark, Val and I had hit the road. We arrived upstate in the Finger Lakes region sometime in the early afternoon for our friend Kitty's Wedding. Kitty is our dear friend from college who has lived in the DC area these past few years. I was feeling a little anxious about the whole thing because I had relations with one of the grooms good friends from college and this was the first time we were going to see each other in over a year.

I met Groom's Friend back in 2005 when I was only a few months out of my long term relationship with The Ex. Kitty was coming to NJ for a wedding and at the last minute Groom Friend's date got sick and couldn't go. Kitty wanting to make the most of her stay in NJ and begged Groom's Friend to let her call me up and invite me as his date so that she could have a friend to hang out with. Long story short we hit it off, got it on in a towel room, and ended up seeing each other several times over the next 2 years... Now he has a live in girlfriend.

Val and Nwk checked into their room and I threw my crap in Bree's room. When Twin showed up we headed to the store, grabbed some Blue Light and started boozing. The place was beautiful, up in the hills overlooking the lake. Kitty looked amazing and the bridesmaids were all looking pretty.

The reception was a blast minus a few little snags ie: Newark yelling at me for telling Lawyer about some drama going on amongst tri-state area sorostitutes, Bree yelling at the waitress who quote told her she danced like her hootchie daughter, and of course Bree taking it upon herself to serve as a bartender at the lobby bar which was not open for business.

The after party included a lot of beer and me trying to get randoms to sing Wilson Philips with me even though it wasn't a song on rotation of the i-pod being played.

I woke up in a fog this morning spooning with Bree. We had yet another heart to heart about how she needs to leave her boyfriend, move to NYC and marry my buddy Mr. Nice Guy... but I don't think it is going to change anything.

::sigh::

The car ride home included a whole lot of farting, food and fun. I'm pretty sure we almost put the Burger King out of business by ordering so much food.

Now it is back to the grind. I'm nervous as all hell about telling my boss I'm peacing out... wish me luck!

Cheers,
Irish

Back

Oooooh HELL YEA!

2008-09-25T19:26:00.003-05:00

Guess who got the new job?!?! Wooohooo!! That would be your's effin truly!

I have to put in my 2-dubs ASAP and I'm super nervous. I try not to ever blog about work out of fear that my boss will suddenly become tech savvy and discover this blog and realize it is me! yikes! But now that I can't get fired I would like to put it out there that I work, and have spent the last 14 months working, for someone who has caused a tremendous amount of stress in my life... I mean more emotional torture then when I pledged my friggin sorority.

I work hard. I work late. And I work for someone who doesn't know much about the field that I specialize in... so alas it is time to move on and leave the frustrations behind. It isn't all bad... I will be leaving a great company, great friends, great laughs and of course great crushes. But now I will be now be surrounded by smart, talented people who I can truly learn a shit load from and I need that.

Even better, Newark and I have decided that we are going to join the same gym and motivate each other into doing early am spin classes. I see us dropping 10 lbs in like 2.2 seconds. Newark is no joke. I effin love her.

So that is that as far as the new job goes. Wish me luck bc I'm a huge P when it comes to thinking about having to tell my boss.

Can someone answer me this question? Um why is today the first time I'm seeing Into the Wild... WTF.

Jew like can we hang out.

I have my second to last wedding of the season this weekend. Newark, Val and I will be heading upstate somewhere around Rochester or maybe the Finger Lakes to celebrate our friend Kitty's wedding. I'm so excited to get some serious usage out of my new Sirius Radio.... it is AWESOME! Bree is gonna be a bridesmaid in this one so it is sure to be fabulous. There may be some drama since a few weeks back Val and my girl Emma had a big drunken blow out and we're all gonna be sitting at the same table. The plan? Newark and I sit back , watch, get drunk and go flirt with the tallest men at the wedding.

Well back to the movie... Grey's starts in 20 minutes!

Cheers,
Irish

A Few Things....

2008-09-22T06:21:00.004-05:00

And now it is time for some updates:

- Went to the last game at Yankee Stadium last night. Scored tickets by accident late last week (face value in the main reserve... im a lucky mofo) so naturally I invited my father to come with me. Straight from the Bronx and the son of a major league baseball scout/high school baseball coach, my father grew up a true All-American baseball fan. For as long as I can remember the man has filled my head with stories about the Yanks, namely about his childhood hero, Mickey Mantle. It was touching to watch my father, for the very last time, point out where the facade used to be and retell the story of The Mick's longest shot. We had a blast. I will miss the stadium but have a shit loud of memories to keep with me for a lifetime.

- Spent the weekend in AC for a wild and crazy bachlerette party at The Borgota. My work BFF is getting married... and she effin ROCKS! Met a lawyer who was tall and hot but when he told me he was from Statan Island I couldn't talk to him anymore. I have no idea why. Maybe I was just drunk? Regardless, I danced my ass off and slept in a full sized bed with two other girls who 24 hours eariler were strangers.

- I have very big news. The job that I have wanted for a very long time is making me an offer this week! This is so exciting on sooo many levels. Mostly, because I will be back in the city! Woohooo! RIP Long Island, I'm so over you. (Nwk: New season, New Cast of Characters!) Now I'm not sure when all of this is going to go down but let me just say I am scared shitless of having to put in 2 weeks notice... HELP!

- I am so effin tired.

- Have a wedding this weekend upstate in a castle somewhere near Rochester. Driving up with Newark and Val which should be fun... mainly because now I have Sirius Radio and Nwk will be sitting shotty. Sharing a room with Bree so I'm pretty pumped... think I need to recycle the dress I wore at my cousins wedding and also once again at Work BFF's wedding.

- I don't wanna get out of bed.

- What the hell am I going to do with my car if I work back in Manhattan. This part of Astoria and alternate side parking do not work. Ugh.

- I need to see the dentist, a gyno, my allergist, an eye doctor, and pretty much anyone else who ever went to Med School.

- This week is gonna be long I can tell already.

Cheers,
Irish

Happy Friday!

2008-09-19T12:06:00.003-05:00

Irish- new job?! Fingers crossed!!

So speaking of new jobs, I'm at around the month and a half point of starting my fancy new job here at Cable Company Best Known For Golden Girls. And i really think I'm loving it :) I know that's not exactly a concrete 'lovin it,' but that's only because i don't want to jinx. Also because it's crazy in the way that my responsibilities are all over the place (in a good way- experience wise), so some days I'm ripping my hair out, other days I'm totally kicking ass and taking names. It's really weird, i knew i would start to 'get it' but you never really think you will until one day you start answering the questions of higher-ups (usually covered in flop-sweat) and are surprised to realize that you actually know what you are talking about.

Adam has a surprise date planned this Saturday! This deserves an exclamation point because he has never done anything like this before... I'm a little afraid ;) I don't have ANY idea what it is, all i know is that we are leaving the apartment at 9:30am, i can wear a dress but should probably wear comfortable shoes, it's an hour from Penn Station, he has to buy tickets, and it's ok if it rains. I can't wait!!

So Irish asked Adam while she was wasted if sex was way more awesome now that i have dropped some lb's, haha. He gave a diplomatic response (eyebrow wiggle) and then was forced to answer me when Irish stumbled off somewhere, his response? "You're easier to bounce now." I just had to add that because i thought it was hilarious.

That's about it for me, updates wise. Still on Jew-watchers, still doing really well, work is going good, and the gala apples (my fav) are sooo ripe right now i'm eating like 2 a day. Fall is in the air, and i find myself using the word 'crisp' at least 5 times a day.

Enjoy it people!!

I&J is dying a slow death

2008-09-18T08:57:00.003-05:00

What the hell is going on?!?! This is clearly the LONGEST stretch that Jew and I have ever gone without blogging. I have zero motivation to sit down and write... and by zero motivation I really mean zero time!

The end of summer into fall always seems so hectic... especially since i'm always focused on planning my fabulous bday bash. Which by the by went down in the books as a total smash. Ok so the bar was just a bit crowded what with it being a Half Way to St. Paddy's Party and all... but I did get a bagpiper to dedicate a nice Happy Birthday to me... so it wasn't all bad.

So what are the latest and greatest updates.... Here's some:

- Jew looks slamming hot ever since she stopped boozing. However, as hot as she looks its just not enough to make me give up on my dear friend alcohol. Sure i'd drop 40lbs but then what? Then i'd be home 40lbs skinnier with nothing to do but stare at myself in the mirror. Jew has Adam so its totally different. I did however make a pack with my mom to lose 15lbs by Christmas. That is about 1 lb per week. This week... I think I've gained 2. Better luck next week.

- Good-bye Yankee Stadium. I'm so glad I invested in a 46 game pack this year only to watch them suck ass. Not gonna lie sitting on top of the away bull pen is SOO MUCH FUN. So that made it worth it. I just got offered a ticket for Sunday night's final game... So obvs I have to take it.

- I have the biggest bachelorette party in the history of the world this weekend. Ok ha that's a bit much but it is the truth. My Work BFF is getting married. The bach party is taking place down in AC at the Borgata obvs. This is a girl who flashed me her t!ts at a Dave Matthews concert... which for those of you who have never been isn't exactly a flash your ta ta's environment. My contribution?! A peen cake from my hometown Jersey bakery... I'm going to pick it up today and it better be awesome.

- Paddy is still alive and kicking but I forgot to call him for his birthday so then in turn he forgot to call me for my birthday a week later. Typical.

- Curly was pretty much dead until my extracurricular sports started up again this past Tuesday and I found myself back in his bed. I have my P so I gave him a serious case of blue balls. He's off to Ireland for the week... phew.

- Bree bought me a $500 black leather Coach bag for my birthday. Like WTF! I'm never taking it off my shoulder... I will be buried with this purse it is gorgeous... Just like Bree.

- I think I'm going to be landing my dream job. Ok I don't wanna talk about it too much because then it won't happen just keep your mother effin fingers crossed for me ok!

- I love The Ex.

- Two more weddings left this season.

- My baby brother told me about his first drinking related puke incident last night. He is loving life at Penn State and I am so very proud.

- Newark got a new job... new season, new cast of characters. So much to memorize.

- Why can't I figure out how to go to the gym in the mornings on a consistent basis. And why can't I get over my fear of spin class and just do it?!?!! HELP!

Alright well I must must must get back to my work. Hopefully Jew will decided to blog in the next month or so. Peace out loves. ~Irish

Happy Friday! I mean... My Big Fat Greek Wedding! or.... Hey How you Doin'?!?!?

2008-09-04T15:03:00.002-05:00

Um hi! I'm here in the blue. Irish told me that due to a commenter revolt she may be changing the name of this blog to An Irish... and that's it. She probably should, i suck :)

Here's my argument though: Her blogs rule because she's fucking firemen and freaking out, I on the other hand... well this is my typical day:

Wake up
Work
Go home
Run
Eat
Fuck
Sleep

And you know that the Fuck part is optional depending on the scheduling of the rest of events...

I'm currently reading the biggest piece of trash book called... wait for it... "Dirty Girls On Top." It's EXACTLY how you would picture it, except it's also chock full of Spanglish. Somehow it was Married, aka the whitest person on earth, that recommended it to me. The thing is this is the type of book you start to read and then go "Ugh what a piece of trash who reads this drivel" And then you miss your stop because you're so engrossed in the thing. The thing is, it's really durrrty! Some parts are even gross dirty which is the best kind IMHO. The phrase 'hairy mango' is used. That's about all i have to say about that.

Adam and i are going on a 10 HOUR road trip to Ohio for a Big Fat Greek Wedding-- should be interesting. We're driving through the night with his bro to get there. I downloaded two audiobooks: The Great Gatsby and a Jody Picoult, I'm psyched! I love listening to books, and i haven't read TGG since high school. I recently decided to stop eating mammals, just to see what happens... you might note the irony that i decided this right before i go hang out with every Greek in Ohio... like there won't be lamb. mmm lamb...

Lastly, I've lost 35lbs on Jew-watchers. And i wasn't fat. So now I'm kinda slammin :) Thinking about writing a book-- the thing is, the book would have one page and it would say: "stop drinking, go running." And no one would buy it.

The other thing I'm excited for is Irish's bday next weekend!! That should be hilarious because I'm obviously going to drink-- and since i stopped doing much of that two glasses of white wine turns me into my mother after she drinks her meals for the day.

I'm out of work tomorrow because I'll be in Ohio for the wedding so i thought you guys would permit me to do some Happy Friday today. This one is because i just realized that i don't have it on my iPod somehow, even though it may be my favorite song by a crackhead of all time.

And to answer your question honey, when you know, you just know. And if you aren't sure; he doesn't :)

I'm Sore As Hell

2008-09-03T16:18:00.002-05:00

I'm back from a fabulous weekend at my house up in the Adirondacks... its basically my favorite place in the world aka where I want to die. I mean if I had the chance to pick such a place. Ew, morbid.. new topic.

So yea I'm back... but I can't walk from the serious pain my body is dealing with. I climbed a mountain with The Ex and some friends (who is pretty close to becoming my bf again... i know, i don't wanna talk about it just yet), did some waterskiing, played some Celebrity, got sunburnt, drank French Martinis and went tubing. Tubing is pretty much the worst thing you can do to yourself... I lost my bikini bottoms four times and almost didn't get them back that last time... and have some serious whip lash from being thrown 20 feet in the air. BUt of course, I loved every second of it!

So I know you are wondering where the hell is Jew?! I mean ok I chatted with her this morning. She is so unmotivated by this blog... it just doesn't excite her the way it used to. (My words, not hers). I think that is because she puts too much pressure on herself to write something interesting... give me a break. Just blog already Jewey Jew... and while your at it figure out a time when you are free to cook me some dinner... and by dinner I mean my favorite meatloaf. I'll bring the wine and club soda. (Sidenote: Jew is on a serious diet, is looking slamming hot, and tries not to booze... I support her, I just think she is nuts.)

The last time I saw Jew was the night of my keg race... apparently I must have called her to tell her that my team won (obvs!) and somehow I made plans with her to meet at my Neighborhood Bar. (No recollection). I tried to buy her, Adam and myself a round of drinks and apparently when she told me she wanted a club soda I gave her the look of death and she quickly responded "with Vodka" even though she really just wanted to Club, I don't think she even friggin drank the damn thing but lucky for her I was too smashed to notice.

This weekend I'm going to try to lay low (yea right) I have a big committee meeting alllllll day on Saturday for this alumni group I am part of and afterwards we're doing one of those boat cruise deals around the city... yea rain or shine... GREAT! After that I'm sure I'll meet up with all my friends who will be out watching college football and were too cool to sign up for the boat cruise. 10 bucks says I make BFFs with the bartender.

Alright... I'm off the gym. I've got nothing and I don't wanna be stuck at work all night. Paddy and Curly updates to follow.

Cheers,
irish

This Sh!t Only Happens to ME!

2008-08-27T13:14:00.006-05:00

You are not even going to believe what happened to me yesterday. So I'm at the Yanks/SAWKS game enjoying some quality heckling in the bleachers and my killer buzz from taking shots of Jameo when I decide it is time to get myself a hot dog for dinner.

So there I am in line, waiting in pretty much the longest line of LIFE! When my cell phone rings. It is Paddy. I pick up.

Good evening.

Hey hey, I'm at the Yanks Game.

I met your friend.

Um, excuse me?

Your friend from Astoria.

Who?

Curly.

Excuse me?!?

Yea, he's gonna be working up at my firehouse because we are short guys.

Excuse me?!?

I recognized him from your pics and once we got talking we realized we both knew you.

Excuse me?!? What did you guys talk about?!

Nothing just shooting the shit. Told him I thought he knew my good friend Irish.

Your good friend?! Did you like, um, chit chat?!

Chit Chat Irish?!? We're dudes we don't chit chat. Why is there something we should have been chit chatting about?

Noooooooo

Oooh I get it.

Excuse me?!

Is something going on with you and Curly?

Shut up.

Alright well get back to your game.

Thanks.

Call me later.

Oh, I will.

Why is my world sooooo friggin small. I mean of all the firemen in all of the FDNY this just has to happen. ::sigh::

Heading back up to the Bronx tonight so I can watch the Yanks blow again. Cheers.

F Me!

2008-08-23T12:32:00.003-05:00

Last night I was just supposed to go out to a nice dinner with my sorostitutes. No Big Deal. Of course after a bottle of wine I got the itch to go out so decided to head to Mr. Nice Guy's Bar and have ONE BEER. And I swear I left after ONE BEER! First time EVER!

Problem?!?!

Where the hell did my mother effin keys go!!!!

So I was forced to head out to the bar with Mo, Larry and Curly well until close and I was also forced to stay up mackin it to Curly till the sun came up.

Larry let me barrow his car this morning so I headed to Jerz to get my valet key... ughh. I don't even have a real spare set because Loud Mouth Long Island Jew's dad lost them over 3 years ago!

So now what?!

I take a one hour nap and head to a keg race.

Wish my luck.

Wild Wedding Weekend Number.... Shit I Lost Count

2008-08-19T06:36:00.004-05:00

First and foremost... how come I never new that the trampoline was an Olympic Sport... shit is effin sick.

So another Wild Wedding Weekend has come and gone. Yours truly was a bridesmaid in Pledge Sister's wedding and the theme was Tiffany's ya know like "Please return to Tiffany & Co." So clearly my dress made me look like a god damn Tiff's box but I have to say it all came together MUCH better then I had original visualized.

I headed to bed super mega early Thursday night so that I could get my ass outta bed, pick up the bride's baby sister/maid of honor on the Upper East Side and head upstate so we could both be her bitch all day Friday. Plan was going as I envisioned until I picked up a call from Curly and let him come over. Needless to say I didn't sleep... I mean literally I'm not sure if I slept. When my alarm went off I thought I was going to die, I took the world's fastest shower went back to bed had some more fun with Curly and had to take the world's second fastest shower before heading out the door. I threw all my shit into one bag and I am proud to report that I somehow managed to not forget anything! Well except my toothbrush but hey those are easily replaceable.

Maid of Honor and I called up Pledge Sister and told her I got a flat tire... which wasn't true but I'm sick in the head. She panicked tried sending her husband to be and in between fits of laughter I managed to tell her I was kidding... which was funny until I almost REALLY ran out of gas on a road with no gas stations and suddenly I was 'The Girl Who Cried Car Trouble'.

The good news... we made it.

After arriving we chugged back some margaritas and headed to the tanning salon. The chick told me I could go for 8 minutes and I looked at her in all my paleness and said "Let's make it 6" turns out I know more about being a pale Mick then her because 6 minutes was the perfect amount of cancer rays on this body.

When I got outta my tanning bed the chick and that counter handed me keys,
"She left"
"Ummm WTF do you mean she left?"
"I dunno these are her car keys, she said you would need her car."
"Is this bitch serious?!"

So I drove around town in her larger then life SUV trying to figure out where the hell she ran off to (carless), ran some errands, and finally returned to her house where she was in the shower getting ready for the rehearsal.

The rehearsal dinner was great, amazing food, lots o booze and The Ex came as my date. PS We're Getting Married.

Saturday morning I overslept... The Ex has gotten up real early for work. I was supposed to meet one of the other bridesmaids at 9:30 and it was 9:00. Holy Mother Fucker. I once again took the world's fastest shower... didn't shave my legs and headed to our meeting spot. Pledge sister could only bring two bridesmaids with her to get her hair done and OBVS I was one of them. We slugged back mimosas and got pretty.

The rest of the day is sort of a blur... the groomsmen were all mega tall since the groom played college hoops... SCORE! Especially since I waited till 2 days before the wedding to buy ivory shoes and could only get a pair with 4 inch heels making me look like a member of the WNBA. I somehow managed to NOT fall down the aisle which was pretty awesome.

We boozed it up in the limo for the next few hours in between pictures and traveling and what not. The reception was out of this world and I'm just glad it didn't rain because it was an outdoor wedding. Things got pretty sloppy pretty early when I found myself dancing to Cotton Eyed Joe on the dance floor... ALONE?!

Cut to me smoking a cigar in the pool house with the groom's dad and his buddies and asking him seriously, "Do you really think it is ok that we do this in here?!?!" and him rolling his eyes and saying, "Irish this is my friggin house." Duh.

Then there was me trying to beg the DJ to play Neil Diamond's Cracklin Rosie... which was not successful but I settled for Like a Prayer.

Cut to the end of the night where I pulled an Irish Exit back to my hotel where of course there is a bar... one of my favorite bars as my super mega crush from college used to work there. I stumbled in with all my luggage since I hadn't yet checked into my room where I found some of the groomsmen and other random friends of the groom. Sweet... Irish is officially the only girl at the after party! Surprise!

My cell phone proves that around 2:15am I drunk dialed said college crush (whom I haven't seen since 2004) and left him a 2-3 minute voice mail. I can only imagine what in god's name it said.

I woke up with a 6'5" man in my bed. Nothing happened... I'm pretty sure we tried to drink some more beers in my room but both realized we were at a level of intoxication that would no longer allow us to function.

The drive home was pretty much THE WORST EIGHT HOURS OF MY LIFE. Yea, that's right 8 friggin hours for a normally 5 hour trip. Ugh.

Well it is back to the grind... only 2 more weddings left in this Wild Wedding Season... I promise, they will be good.

Cheers,
Irish

PS: I'm trying not to go out all week and the only liquid I am consuming is water. Why?! Because I'm participating in a keg race this weekend. Deets to follow ;)

Hey You

2008-08-15T08:26:00.002-05:00

What can i say... the new job is hectic but AWESOME. I just feel like no matter what, even though this year is going to be hellish, but the end of it i will have learned more than i did in college (about marketing... not about like, Hemingway or such shit) :)

My first day i wanted to KILL MYSELF. I went home and ran 4 miles and STILL couldn't get the voices out of my head... 'you're not good enough, you're not smart enough... and doggone it, people don't like you.'

When Adam saw me Monday night he looked at my face and just said "stay calm, you're doing great and people like you." See I'm not one of those people that are like, 'i don't care what people think about me.' My brother is that way, but he really means it. He is described (by me) as a lovable asshole. He's the kind of person that will let you know matter-of-fact that you just said something really stupid, regardless of who you are... I am not like this. I CARE. I care a lot, I'm 'that guy' I need to be loved by most, adored my many, and overall just LIKED. So you can see how starting a new job that's way above my previous station would leave plenty of opportunity for questions on my part of how people perceive me.

My first week (second day) i got a huge project. Inside my intestines melted, but outside i was calm-- I did the project and guess what-- i fucking rocked it. It's right now in the process of going out to serious clients and has been seen by really importantos in the company. So now i feel like i at least passed the first test and can try to continue on in this vein. Thing is... i went from basically imputing data, to doing shit that a marketing directer is doing. That's what i really love about my company though, it's a big established corporate company, but in a lot of ways it's a mom and pop show-- a lot of responsibility is thrown on people and you either sink, or swim. Here's hoping i'll at least tread water!

I saw the dark night last week, and it really made me think about something-- and maybe this has been said a zillion times since the movie, i don't know i don't have time to read blogs anymore, but isn't it ironic that Heath's character of the Joker is so cynical about human beings and their inability to be anything else but monsters who would eat each other if there was nothing else around... and then he dies in real life, and all the media (and let's face it, most of us) can do is about wee ourselves with (maybe this is harsh)... excitement?

I don't know, i guess that's just food for thought so you monsters don't eat my legs off in a fit of munchies ;)

Anyhoo- feels GOOD to chat! I miss writing, but another cool thing about my new job is that i am finally writing. I can't really talk now because i have to get to some shit, but i'm doing my favorite kind of writing here- breathless juicy titbits, and not like... news journalism -- which incedently is the exact class in college that made me change my minor because i decided i hated writing, haha.

Anyhoo- talk later!

Love to the fam,

Jew

A Few Things....

2008-08-13T22:50:00.006-05:00

Where do I even begin... life has been so friggin hectic lately... but I'll try to get the updates done as quickly as possible... it is waaay past my bedtime.

- All Points West. What can I say... Radiohead is hands down the best band to see live and if you don't agree with me, well then I'm pretty sure it is because you either a) haven't seen them or b) you are deaf and blind. Newark met me and my baby bro in 'Bokes where we took the Light Rail to Liberty State Park. You can read more about it over at her blog. My baby bro ditched me early on to hang with his high school friends which was cool cause I really wanted to spend the day with NWK, we don't get to spend nearly as much time together and it was critical I be there for the popping of her Radiohead cherry. We ran into FunnyGuy and Shorty for 2.2 seconds, just long enough for them to bum my cigs and peace out. It was a long and fabulous day. I got back to Astoria, got Taco Truck and passed the hell out before 2 a.m.

- Saturday I had to work. Ugh. Work on the weekend?!?! WTF I didn't sign up for this shit... but I did it and it was ok so whatever. College Roomie came to Astoria so we could celebrate her b-day. After spending all day in the library studying for the LSAT Ivy decided she would join us. I bought a deck of cards and we headed to my home away from home... The Beer Garden. We caught a table and made friends with this group of three... they were pretty much THE MOST BORING PEOPLE EVER! The only positive aspect of meeting them was that they were from Upstate NY so they played asshole with the same rules as College Roomie and I (4 of clubs starts, 2's clear, Two 3's clear, etc.) so that was one less argument to be had. We finally ditched them to head to my fav 'Hood Bar. Ivy, College Roomie and I claimed our space by the jukebox and started in with a quality dance party. Every once in a while I'd take a look around and realize that EVERYONE was watching us, but it didn't really matter. Someone must have played Radiohead's "Jigsaw Puzzle" because suddenly the bartender screamed out "Irish, YOUR SONG IS PLAYING!!" Which made me wonder... "Do I play this song a lot?" "Do I dance around like a dumb fuck to this song a lot" "Maybe I hang out here too much?" "What the hell is that bartenders name?" UPDATE: Just checked my online bank statement as I do on the regs because of my fear of identity theft (can't believe that shit happens to good people!) and I realized that the BIG TIP I added onto my amazing $20 tab from my Saturday night (bc it covered drinks for Ivy, College Roommie and myself and should have been more like $70) got rang up WITHOUT THE TIP! I'm pretty sure the bartender hearts me hardcore.

- Sunday it rained. I was gonna do a round of Sunday Funday with Mr. Nice Guy and Bree's brother but decided watching some Law & Order on the couch made way more sense. Kiwi called, he was in the area and came over to hang for a while... Kiwi's new job is as the personal assistant for a pretty big deal celebrity so I had a blast playing a game of "Name the Celebrities in Kiwi's Blackberry" for like 2.2 seconds.

- Oh yea I forgot to mention that I saw Paddy on Thursday night... yeaaaa. We drank wine, watched the Colbert Report and had hot crazy sex... namely round one on the window ledge of his 22 floor apartment overlooking the Hudson. I'm pretty sure I need to move away in order to end this affair... it has been OVER TWO YEARS. Ugh.

- The lovely Espana is visiting from Madrid, Ivy's good friend from college who I absolutely LOVE TO DEATH! We went out last night and each drank a pitcher of Sangria. We caught up and ate a ton of food. I woke up 7lbs heavier this morning.

- I haven't seen Curly all week, he's back to work with the FDNY so our schedules don't exactly mesh well. We've chatted via text... he's the majorly aloof type, which is most likely the ONLY reason other then his sense of humor, that keeps me interested. We'll see what happens but I'm booked for the next few weekends

- Friday I leave for upstate so that I can be a bridesmaid in pledge sister's wedding. It should be a great time/shit show and overall enjoyable as long as I manage to find a pair of shoe's in the next 24 hours... WISH ME LUCK!

- I think I have a new work crush. Deets to follow.

- Todd sends the best random text messages of Bon Jovi Lyrics.

- I love Olympic Swimming.

Over and Out,
Irish

It's Gonna Be One Hell Of a Day

2008-08-08T11:45:00.005-05:00

The baby bro and I are having one last bonding experience before he ships off to college and I officially become the sister that is waaaaay to old to be partying with 18 year olds at Penn State.

Cheers!

Third Grade Flirting.

2008-08-06T23:43:00.007-05:00

You know the concept... back in the day... when the guy who likes you actually tortured you to show affection?! Well, how come as an "adult" I love that shit?

I was out last night with my neighborhood crew and of course Curly was there... since I had to be up at 5am this morning, I wasn't drinking heavily and wasn't planning on making any efforts to take him home or vice versa.

The night was fab minus a WASTED gay guy who asked me where I got my weave done to which I screamed and pulled at my own hair "THIS IS REAL!" He tried telling me that was supposed to be a compliment.... he also told me my breasts were so great he'd love to titty fuck them even though he was gay. Wow.

Anyways sometime around midnight I acted responsibly and headed home played it cool giving Curly and my other guy friends a kiss on the cheek good bye... as I walking through the front door Paddy called... I didn't answer followed immediately by a text exchange with Curly.

No fun 2nite?
Oh Fun? Come on pretending to fall asleep during my stories tonight wasn't fun enough. I'm home going to sleep unless you plan on waking me up.
How about tom night on my home field?
Why bc you think you have a better AC?
No, because I know I have a better AC?
What time.
After the Mets Game.
Deal.
Your hair extensions totally look real by the way.
Oh that's right I'm busy tomorrow. I think I have to wash my hair.
Don't you just drop it off at the laundromat?
Yea but picking it up takes longer then you perform.
Ok guess who isn't getting any sleep tomorrow night.
Prove It.

Sadly tonight I came home and fell asleep for 4 hours but luckily woke up to a text from Curly telling me he had to postpone because he was still at work. Thank God... I feel like I got hit by a truck... a truck who now can't fall asleep.

Paddy called from work tonight to see what I was up to tomorrow... told me he'd bring home his uniform if I wanted to play fireman. Jesus Christ.

Living Saint texted... said we need to go out for steak soon and that we can't wait 6 months to do it. He had me at steak.

In other news... ALL POINTS WEST on Friday!! Newark got a ticket last week so we are MEGS PUMPED!

Cheers,
Irish

I Have Two Seconds

2008-08-06T12:35:00.001-05:00

To talk... but i'm going to spend them reading Irish's post below. Miss you guys! The new job is HECTIC, i wish i could fast forward a month to when i know what i'm talking about. Till then i'll keep blowing smoke :)

ps My best gays broke up.. story soon

My Liver Needs A Vacation. STAT.

2008-08-05T14:28:00.004-05:00

I think my co-workers are starting to think I have a drinking problem? Great.

Friday I finally got to hang with Ivy who despite being my roommate I haven't seen in months... I mean I've seen her for a hot minute here and there but other then Billy Joel we really haven't hung out. She started her LSAT class this week so Friday was sorta our last night together before she starts living in the library.

We headed up to Mr. Nice Guy's bar where Bree's Brother was 'tending. I somehow got trashed (note: Bree's Brother was making me pint glass sized vodka drinks) and next thing you know I'm around the corner in a doorway making out with a dude who was a Super Senior in college when I was a freshmen.

I stumbled back around the corner where Mr. Nice Guy caught me and said, "Irish who the hell were you just with?!?!" I tried to play it off like I was making an important phone call but apparently he knows me better then that... "I'm standing here till I see who comes around the corner!" Luckily Super Senior went the long away around the block, prob to make a shady drug deal or something because I can never figure out what he actually does for a living.

Saturday I had to get up brite and early and drive to the Poconos for Loud Mouth LI Jew and my friend Emma's bday bash. They rented a kickass house and it was a nice little sorostitute meet co-workers weekend. All was fabulous till Emma and Val got in a HUUUUUGE blow out. Luckily I was there to point and laugh. I'm not even sure if Emma remembers the things she said to Val ie: everyone hates you, you are a dumb flake... I'm gonna blame it on the larger then life bottle of Grey Goose that Emma and her fiance finished off alone.

Sunday I came back home to a text message from Mr. Nice Guy asking me to come to a BBQ at his friends house. My buddy Mo called me up and said, "You get that BBQ message? You wanna go?" "HELLL YEA!" So we went and we boozed and it turned out to be a fabulous Sunday Funday. I left after 6 beers... which I promised myself I would be because somewhere between 6 and 7 beers is when I start to think I am invincible. It is a good thing too... Monday morning Mo sent me an email to let me know he was out till 3:30. This is what happens when you work in Corporate America but hang out with bartenders all the time.

Last night was the long awaited reunion with Living Saint. ::sigh:: it was great. Eddie Vedder was AMAZING! (Porch was a pleasant surprise and KICKED ASS!!!) The United Palace Theatre is AMAZING! Kissing Living Saint on the corner of 164th St was AMAZING! He tried to apologize for vanishing and I told him not to bother. We mutually decided that we're not allowed to hang out when either of us is in a serious relationship and when he told me that he couldn't imagine his life without me I teared up. I could write a novel about it sadly I'm off to a meeting.

Cheers,
Irish

A Peace Offering.

2008-07-30T20:52:00.011-05:00

I landed in JFK earlier tonight and of course I was one of the first people to turn their cell phone on. After 5.5 hours I was having a little bit of separation anxiety from the world of text messaging. My phone started to beep immediately, 7 new text messages and 2 new voice mails. One VM was from my father (obvs) to make sure I wasn't dead and the second was from Living Sant.

Now, if you don't know who Living Saint is then I suggest you read the back story before moving forward, because well, this post won't have nearly as much significance.

But since I was always a fan of the "Cliff's Notes" the story goes something like this: at 18 we were in love, we broke up, we became amazing friends, he nearly died, we became even more amazing friends, he got a girlfriend, we realized we'll always be in love in a weird way, they broke up, he told me she hates me, he made plans to leave NYC, we had intense sex, he left, they got back together... and now you are caught up.

Living Saint (LS) came back to NYC for December, reunited with his girlfriend, returned to Florida and made plans to fly her down for a romantic getaway.

Before he left LS told me, "Irish, it will be at least a year before I step foot on NY soil again." We hugged good-bye, a long loved filled hug good-bye. That was pretty much that. We played a little bit of phone tag, sent each other random texts and then we just stopped communicating.

Then sometime back around May or June, Jew and I were at "Our Bar" (where LS once worked) when my FAVORITE bartender Andy came over to chat,
"Irish you know that LS is back in town don't you?!"
"Excuse Me?"
"Yea he's back in town him and Ashley (his girlfriend) are moving in together."
"EXCUSE ME" (holding back the vomit)
"Oh, he hasn't been in contact with ya now has he?"
"No, NOTHING."
"Well how long did you think that sexual tension was going to go on Irish, we all know he was your first love."
"He wasn't my FIRST love Andy."
"Just Call him Irish."

So I sent LS the following text: WHAT THE HELL.

The next day I got a voicemail back from him, "What the hell?"

I didn't have the energy to call. I didn't want to once again interfere with his life. He was back with Ashley, they had plans to move in together and our intense connection (that fucks with both of our heads) wasn't about to ruin that for him. So, I let it go. I mean this is the shit The Notebook was made outta of.

Another month goes by and once again I'm at the bar when Andy comes over with the latest scoop,
"Ya heard what happened now didn't cha Irish."
"No?!?!"
"LS broke up with Ashley."
"WHAT????"
"Yea, they were all set to move in together when he told her she wasn't the one and he wasn't ready."
"WHAT???"
"She cried for days."
"Where is he now?"
"Working about 20 blocks away, he's bartending ya know."
"No Andy, I DON'T KNOW!"
"Just call him Irish."

I sent him a text: Where have you been?
He wrote me back: I miss your face.

Cut to a month ago and I'm celebrating a wiff ball win with my team and Ashley comes strolling down the street with her dog. I hear "Irish?!"

We had the most awkward conversation because neither of us brought up LS. She most likely assumed I had been in touch with him and I refused to let in on the fact that him and I weren't even communicating. Turns out she lives in my 'Hood now, practically next door to Jew. Go figure.

I sent him a text: Ran into Ashley on the streets.
He never wrote back.

Then today I got the voicemail and called him back instantly. He's been living in the Bronx. He apologized for never telling me he came back to NYC. He didn't have to explain why, I already know why.

He told me he's spent the last few months trying to figure out who is really is and what he's supposed to be doing with his life... normally when I hear this kind of self exploration crap I roll my eyes but coming from LS it always seems to make sense.

So he told me he needed to make a peace offering... two tickets to Eddie Vedder next week. Of course I said "HELL YEA." And decided to save the deep talk for when we reunite over Guinness. (Update: I just realized the link to the last post about LS are the lyrics from a Pearl Jam song... WEIRD.)

I have to tell ya I haven't looked forward to giving someone a hug hello this bad in as long as I can remember.

Cheers,
Irish

A Few Things...

2008-07-30T00:24:00.003-05:00

- I've been in AZ for work for the past 3 days... pretty damn cool state, not gonna lie. But hot as hell and I had to get on one of those 10 person planes to get to my final destination and I screamed three times.

- I saw Paddy last week. I don't have the energy to write about it.

- My crazy co-worker I had to travel with and I actually bonded. I guess that is what happens when you realize you share common opinions about the people you work for... that and she started to really open up to me like about mega personal crap. People love opening up to me, I guess because a) They know I'm a "vault" and b) I am really good at pretending I care (I kid, I kid).

- I went home with Curly again... yikes. It was Friday I think he used some line like "I bet you wake up in my bed." Turns out that works.

- I have officially established a new "My Bar" in my 'hood. I know this because a) I've been called out by name the last three times I've walked into the bar and b) my tab on Friday night was $13 for something like 8 drinks.

- Ran into a co-worker of mine at My Hood Bar who kept pulling me aside to ask me if I was ok. Of course I was ok so what if I'd been drinking since 8 p.m. and now it was 3 a.m. Around 4:03 a.m. we had the following exchange: "Irish you want a shot?!" "Hell no." "Patron?" "Chilled." I then puked.

- I have to go to the Poconos this weekend for a birthday bash (Loud Mouth Long Island Jew and Emma's) that I really don't want to go to. It's not that I don't want to its more that I just friggin don't feel like it. What makes me even more pissed is that Newark is effin getting out of it because she's off in LA visiting our girl Smash. Talk about UNFAIR. So what if she survived an Earthquake.

- I hate flying and I wish I could morph back to NYC.

Peace Out
Irish

I Forgot Happy Friday (a few times)

2008-07-27T22:04:00.004-05:00

But this makes up for it. Ten fold.

I was just screaming this (much to Adam's chagrin) in the tradefair. And between choruses i could be heard exclaiming "Holy shit i love this fuckin song!! I fuckin LOVE THIS SONG!!"

Hey There Strong Arm

2008-07-24T08:38:00.004-05:00

So uhh... this is awkward... haven't seen you guys in awhile. But you know what i love about us is that no matter how long it's been, we always just pick up where we left off!

So updates for you:

I got a new job here at the company i work at, which is the awesomeist (it's a word). I'm so excited that i get to stay with this company because i love it and i believe in it. However, this new job is just as scary as it is exciting because, well, it's what i really want to be doing with my life. Which should make me feel only excitement, which it does, but it's laced with a lot of trepidation... what if i'm no good? what if i don't pick things up fast enough? what if i'm overwhelmed? what if i can't remember how to use photoshop? (which i totally can't)

And it's doubly weird because i can't talk about it with anyone here, i have to appear confident and at the ready. Which i am! It's just that you know how it is, i haven't had to really learn anything new in like two years! I have to remember how to use my brain again ;)

In other news, Adam and i are totally on our way to becoming tennis pros, i've taken up running (which i used to DESPISE), and my boobs are much smaller since jew-watchers. Irish things mine are still bigger than hers, but she's mistaken (it's true, Irish, even Adam agrees).

I've been hanging out with Married and Husband again, we went to the Red Bulls v. Galaxy game on Sat, and then played tennis Sunday. It's weird, Married NEVER talks about her problems, when we used to be bff if she talked about anything wrong it was when she called me at 2am on a weeknight having a panic attack, then the next day we would pretend it never happened. But i sense she wants someone to talk to, not that anything is necessarily wrong, but I'm the only person in her life right now that has known her for more than 3 years. It's hard to really open up to people that only know you as an adult, don't you think? They get what you're saying, but there's no context. Anyway, we did get to talk a little bit about her life as of now, and i have to say it is interesting to hear her talk about being married... it still weirds me out that one of my friends is married-- just seems weird, i feel like we're so young, but maybe not? Par Example: A couple of weeks ago Erin got hit on in a bar in our hometown, and she said the guy looked really familiar so she asked him his last name. ''Smith,'' he replied. "OMG as in Courney Smith's little brother?!?!" I practically screamed into the phone. Erin confirmed my shock- ''yes. I totally died inside,'' "Are we... are we old?" "YES."

But this is silly, as long as Irish is still sleeping with firemen, i will never be old. And besides-- 25 is YOUNG, regardless of what little child is hitting on Erin. But like Married said last year when she hit 25:

"Do you know what this means?! I'm halfway to thirty!!"

"No honey, actually, you're halfway to fifty."

:)

Love, Jew

Christ Almighty

2008-07-23T18:25:00.006-05:00

Ooops I Did It Again. Uhh yea... I accidentally spent the night with Curly or rather he came and spent the night with me. I slept a total of 2.5 hours (if that) last night and somehow managed to make it to work today for a big presentation.

After a solid WiffBall win my team headed out to the bar... it had been the first time I'd seen Curly since we first hooked up. Awkward? Abso. Solution? Beer. After a few drinks the awkwardness subsided and I was feeling flirty.

Curly has a great personality and killer sense of humor... he's extremely sarcastic, rarely serious, and oftentimes misinterpreted as an asshole. Ever since I moved to Astoria and started hanging with him on the regs I've found myself attracted to his persona and constantly looking forward to our next hang out. What is it about those people? Ya know the ones you just look forward to being around because the stories are always great and getting to know more about them is even better?

I kept *trying* to leave the bar last night first at midnight when I saw a missed call from Paddy then at 1:20am, next at 1:50 and finally managed to peace out around 2:45am.

The exit conversation with Curly went something or nothing like this:
"I'm going home, are you coming over?"
"My place or yours."
"Um my place."
"I have the better AC."
"How do you know?"
"I don't."
"I'm going home my AC sucks and my bed isn't as comfy as yours"
"I'll be there in ten minutes."
"You better not be lying or i'll kill you."

I think I actually said the "I'll kill you part" but hopefully he doesn't remember. I called Paddy on my walk home, according to my cell phone we spoke for roughly 5 minutes. I remember him asking if he should come over and remember me responding, "No, I'm calling to let you know that I'm busy right now." Ummmm wow.

Curly showed up at my door a few minutes later and for the next several hours I forgot about the fact that it was a Tuesday going into Wednesday morning and only thought about how much fun it is to hook up.

Cut to morning sex and the worst case of bloodshot eyes I have ever seen.

I stumbled to the bathroom where Ivy took one look at me and came over with a 2 liter bottle of ginger ale and 2 Excedrin. Ivy is no joke.

"There's a fireman in my bed."
"PADDY?!?!"
"Ugh. No."
"CURLY!?!"
"Yes! SHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Mwahahahaha"

I took a shower and actually took the time to blow dry my hair straight (which I never do in the summer) in an attempt to off set my blood shot eyes with a killer hair day. I left Curly in my bed and told him not to snoop unless he wanted to stumble across my dildo collection. He asked me if I was serious, "Of course I'm serious" was my response right before I left. "Don't forget to turn off my AC."

I thought I was pulling off the lookin good thing till the chick who sits across from me at work said, "Good Morning Irish, Wow you went out last night huh?"

I

FELT

LIKE

DEATH

It was HORRIBLE! I drank 3 coffees, 2 cans of soda, and an iced latte. Yes, I can still feel my heart pounding in my head. I sent Curly a text message that said, "I hope you are having nightmares right now" because he was off from work today.

So now I gotta figure out what to do with this Curly sitch. He is in my core group of Astoria friends which isn't exactly something ya wanna mess with. I'm sure it will be fine, he doesn't seem like the clingy type at all and ya know this girl just loves the chase anyways. Besides when things get weird I pull the Irish card and PRETEND LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED. I'm good like that.

So now it is off to bed at 7:53 p.m... I dunno how I used to do this 'all night partying crap' and then head to work, no problem. I think a lot of it has to do with the ::gasp:: 'getting older thing' and a lot more of it has to do with how serious and stressful my job has become... whatever it is, this won't be happening again anytime soon!

Cheers,
Irish

PS: I'm giving up on Jew... she's boycotting blogging and there is nothing I can do about it but feel this blog with GREEN!!!!!

A Few Things....

2008-07-21T07:06:00.003-05:00

- JEW YOU NEED TO BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Jew got a new job (with her company that she LOVES!) so this is a huuuuuuge deal and everyone should congratulate her ;) (however, this is not an excuse for not posting in OVER a week god dammit)

- Wild Wedding Weekend Family edition was AWESOME! I got my baby bro trashed this was evident after 12 beers when he looked at me and said, "I'm not drunk, it just feels easier to say things I wouldn't normally say." Welcome to my world Baby Irish, you were drunk! In other news the best man told me that I "really knew how to work that dress" and invited me to his room for a threesome with his wife, I'm still not sure if he was serious or not. But he was right, I did work that dress, it only took me 6 hours and 5 department stores to effin find it.

- While Wild Wedding Weekend Family edition was awesome, the drive up to New Hampshire (really who lives there) was not. I was majorly hung over after a KICK ASS time with IVY at BILLY JOEL'S LAST PLAY AT SHEA!!! Ummm Paul McCartney... yea I can day saying I've seen a Beatle perform, that's pretty cool. Afterwards I somehow convinced Ivy that we *needed* to stop at the beer garden. Dumb.

- Paddy is alive and kicking. He wants to "get together" this week and asked if he could come to my WIFFLE BALL GAME. "NOOOOOOOOO!" was my response to which he started prying about if I was dating someone on my team. Give me a break Paddy, stop acting jealous... You HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. Ivy made a great point, "Paddy going to your game?! That is like the deadbeat dad that shows up at your softgame game. Everyone knows who he is, no one wants to talk about it, and everyone feels totally weird about it." UM AGREED.

- This week is power packed... will be swamped at work since I leave for a biz trip to AZ next week. It is a huge project that I'm managing so fingers crossed nothing gets effed up or that I don't just accidentally forget to do something majorly huge.

- I need to get a bridesmaid dress (THAT LOOKS LIKE A TIFFANY'S BOX) totally altered like TODAY since the wedding is in less then a month. Friggin shoot me.

Cheers!
Irish

"You are Trouble"

2008-07-14T15:28:00.005-05:00

I get that a lot... mainly from men... mainly from men who run in my circle of friends and therefore I should NOT under any circumstances be hooking up with. Well, if you've ever read this blog then you know my MO is hooking up with men I'm not supposed to.

Sidenote: I'm came home at noon sick... like have to run to the bathroom every 5-10 minutes to either vom or shit myself sick. So yea thats the overshare of the day. It might take me a while to get through this post.

So backing up the truck a bit... remember when I said I had only slept with one member of my wiffle ball team?! Yea, you prob don't, but I do. Well, as you can guess we can kick that statement right to curb.

Saturday night the plan was to go home... Jew and I were riding the subway back from Bon Jovi @ Central Park after a fabulous evening with Todd and Co. We were supposed to go to BK for Cheese's bday party but Jew is on a serious diet, can't drink and was tired... and I didn't wanna have to pay for a cab ride home all alone. Jew looked at me and said, "You look really tired you should go home, think about the blankets, a movie, snuggling up."

That idea sounded great for about 23 seconds the exact time it took for me to locate a group of friends at the Beer Garden and tell them I was on my way.

"So are you gonna go home?!"
"I'm going to the Beer Garden."
"Wow you are a trooper."
"That, or I have a serious problem."

Considering I closed my locale pub the night before somewhere around 5am I'm gonna go with "I have ZERO self control."

I had to wait on a short line to get in where people were bitching and being all sorts of crazy... you can tell who these people are... the too cool for the city in the summer Manhatanites that think hanging out in Astoria is "hip." Not gonna lie, the BG is the only place in all of New York City where you will ever catch me waiting on line.

I got in about 6 minutes later and immediately found my friends, three of my college buds who play on my wiff ball team. Now to explain my relationship with these three I'll give you some back story.

Mo, Larry and Curly all went to my college. Mo was friends with Bree's Brother and also BFF's with my gal pal Ft. Lauderdale. So when Mo moved down to the city from upstate it was clear we were gonna start hanging on the regs... which turned out to be not so on the regs because he lived all the way down in Bayridge however this time last year he came to his senses, moved to Astoria and got a place with Larry, Curly, and our other friend Kyle. (Kyle is currently in the FDNY Academy so he's not around so much). Anyways... I always "knew of" Larry and Curly but we've really only become good buds in the last year or so and megs good buds since I moved to Astoria. Get it? Got it? Good!

So we're hanging at the BG when it becomes apparent that Curly and I are only talking to each other, not the first time this has happened. But Curly isn't really the kinda guy you can take seriously... he's a jokester with an extreme sense of humor but at the end of the day he's the kinda guy you know is truly genuine.

I've had a mini crush on him namely because a) he's our wiff ball team all star pitcher b) his parents are off the boat from Ireland and c) he's a fireman! How could I not?!

So while talking our convo turns serious he starts telling me he thinks I'm the kinda girl that he can ask for girl advice to which I tell him I'm *that* girl to a roster of at least 30 men. He gets into this story about this girl he's been seeing, she's ok, they get along great, it isn't going anywhere, he sees other people if he wants to, she's wants him to be her BF, he told her that wasn't the case.... Question of the year... "Am I an asshole."

I told him that no, as long as he has been honest from the get go, that he wasn't looking for a relationship then he's not an asshole... should he stop seeing her... abso... but if he doesn't well it is his own fault b/c there is bound to be some serious drama that comes along with getting this "no strings attached ass."

I explained to him my Paddy sitch cause as it turns out they work one firehouse away from each other and Curly can't figure out why they don't know each other. The convo took a turn:

"Why are you single?"
"Because I want to be."
"Well your a total catch, but I'm pretty sure you know it."
"Eh, I've heard that once or twice before."
"You are trouble."

Ah famous last words. "You are trouble" is pretty much the green light for me... the buzzer goes off in my head "Holy shit Irish this dude is into you, I know you think he's just your friend but he actually wants a piece, you are so going to Make Out Bandit his ass."

Larry peaced out and Mo, Curly and I decided to head to our local pub. It was roughly 2am. (roughly covers anywhere between 1:30-4:40am)

I walked in and the bartender shouted out to me, "Good evening Irish, we're not gonna do this again are we?" I'm not sure what he was referencing but I'm hoping it was "closing the bar" and not something way more mortifying.

Mo and I had a serious dance off to some quality 80's beats and Curly told me he never knew I had such great boobs. I guess that's what happens when you typically hang out with each other in your wiffle ball attire.

Then Curly starts asking me more personal questions,
"So what exactly is going on between you and Mike."
"Me and Mike?!?!"
"Ya know the guy you brought in here a few weeks back."
"Yea I know who you mean, umm we're good friends, we know each other from home."
"Oh cause I asked him what was going on between you two."
"You asked him?!"
"Yea well.... I gotta get a drink."

At this point the double buzzer was going off in my brain, "What the effin ef yo this dude was asking about yr hook up status wooooooah."

Next thing I know Mo is gone and it is just Curly and I closing out for the night. He offered to walk me home since my apartment is exactly one avenue further from the bar then his... we stumbled down the street and he grabbed me by the hand, pulled me in and tried to make out with me. It would have been totally hot... if I wasn't a total asshole.

I got up to his lips, shut mine, waited till he opened his eyes and said, "I won't make out with you." He looked confused, crushed, and all around disappointed so I laughed and said "Just kidding" followed by a decent MOB sesh.

Of course we ended up at his place where we stayed awake making out until 9:30am um yea it was hot. We finally passed out for a few hours before waking up at 3:00 for some more fun in the bed action.

The the worst part happened... I had to leave his room. Leave his room, in the middle of the afternoon, and walk through the living room that I knew Mo, Larry and Kyle were sitting in.

I opened the door and they all starred straight at me... "Morning guys." In an effort to not make me feel totally awkward they asked if I wanted to stay for Rambo. I politely declined and headed home to my own bed. I'm not gonna call Curly... I'll see him tomorrow at the game. Luckily I'm not gonna be around for the next few weekends so I don't have to worry about starting up anything scandalous.

~Irish

PS: BON JOVI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O.M.G.

2008-07-11T12:25:00.005-05:00

HOLY SHIT!!!

Erin just called me and informed me that she, I, and two other girls are going to go see EDDIE FUCKING VEDDER solo at NJPAC!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't know, that venue is so fucking small it's ridic. And we have great seats. I'm going to DIE.

I just finished screaming my face off in the office and now everyone probably thinks i'm a psycho. wow.

And Bon Jovi tomorrow! As a person who hates most concerts (PJ being the only exception) this summer is going REALLY WELL.

love,
Jew

Karma and Bon Jovi

2008-07-10T06:39:00.003-05:00

So all week I decided that I was gonna do something good with my Bon Jovi tickets that I magically acquired last week. It's not that I didn't wanna go show Jersey love in Central Park but a) Jew couldn't come with me and b) my buddy Todd (who you should all know and love) was willing to kill for tickets c) I've seen Jon Bon a few times.

I called up Jew and told her my plan, "Omg you should TOTALLLLLY give them to Todd he will shit his pants."

Yesterday amidst a blogger email chain I g-chatted with Jew.
Jew: "You are going to give them to Todd?!?!"
Irish: "Yea I really think I should."
Jew: "Totally! You should do it LIVE on email thread!!"

Then I consulted the lovely BK Gal.
Irish: im going to give todd my bon jovi tix he doesnt know this
Bk Gal: OMG you are such a good friend!
Irish: should i do it over live EMAIL?!?!
Bk Gal: he is going to pee his pants! YES do it i mean, or you can call him but email would be fun!
Irish: i was going to call but Jew told me to do it over email bc she's a loser
Bk Gal: haha, she just wants to be a part of it
Irish: haha i know.

I went back to Jew:
Irish: Phone or Email?
Jew: i think you should do it in front of everyone or you could call that would be more fun for you email would just be more fun for me

So I sent out an e-mail, live via gmail thread (I actually think the entire group of us has a gmail account but I could be totally mistaken) and thus Todd rejoiced with Bon Jovi tickets. Moments later we got an email from BenK. announcing that HE too would be getting tickets and now that mine were going to Todd would Jew and I want his tickets!!!

A few IMs singing all the classic Jovi hits to Jew convinced her to change her weekend plans down the Jersey shore and instead fist pump in Central Park with yours truly!!!

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty effin excited. It must be a Jersey thing.

Cheers!
Irish

For the Record

2008-07-09T06:51:00.008-05:00

My wiffle ball team totally dominates!!! Seriously, I haven't had this much fun since Greek Week 2003 or before that Field Day 1995! We had a solid win last night and I'm pretty sure we're gonna dominate in the play offs... sweeeeet!

In other updates:

- I love The Ex

- Paddy called at 2:20pm yesterday afternoon and again at 2:30am. Mother Effin Typical.

- If you have never read my girl Newark's blog I really think you should... no really go check it out!

- I haven't seen Jew in weeks. She is my neighbor.

- I'm gonna do something really good with my Bon Jovi @ Central Park tickets today.

- The Adirondacks rocked and even though I hadn't slalomed in two summers I was still able to pop outta the water on one ski and attack the wake. I just couldn't use my arms for 2 days after... it was a struggle to pump gas, no joke.

- I have 3 minutes to blow dry my hair, put on a suit, and head out the door... I'm naked and in a towel not even sure if I have a suit that is ironed.

- I got my bridesmaid dress yesterday for the wedding I'm in come August... it looks like a Tiffany's box... I shit you not. A mother fuckin Tiffany's box. At least it goes nice with my hair which will be UP on the day to the wedding since its outdoors... in AUGUST!

- I think im gonna go to the beach this weekend with my sorostitutes in an effort to double my freckle population.

- Next weekend is BILLY JOEL!!!!!!!!!!!!

- I drank too many coronas last night in celebration of our win and now I feel like I wanna vom

That's all for now folks.

Much love from my bed, in a towel,

Irish

Get Out Of My Dreams (and into my pants)

2008-07-07T12:06:00.004-05:00

I am installing Powerpoint on my home computer right now (oh hell yea our CEO gave us off today-- four day weekend)! And as I'm thinking that my old ass Dell comp sounds like a 747 going off, I'm also realizing that i have never cleaned it... in like 7 years. How do you clean a computer?

Anyhoo- i have to finish installing this and then play around with it a little. This weekend was Erin's 25th birthday party and it was great. She lives on a lake so we hoped we'd be able to canoe around and shit but the rain and the fact that i decided to wear a ridiculously sexy dress made that impossible. Some people fished though; and we all walked down to the lake to hang for a bit. Then yesterday Adam and i challenged my sis and her bf to a game of doubles tennis. The game went well (they won) and then we got to play my fav game: Danger Ball. Danger ball is when you have all the courts you're playing on to yourself and you can just go effing nuts. Everything is 'in' and the point of the game is for bragging rights-- i.e. if you smash the ball into someone else's face, you are awesome at DB.

Then we ate at my parents house and caught the bus home. It was funny, we got off the train in Astoria and were so happy to be home after our crazy weekend we were both like: 'home sweet home!' with shit eating grins on our faces. Meanwhile the thunder train is going over our heads, fire trucks are speeding by with their sirens on, and some douche in an escalade is honking at all the cars that are stopped for the fire trucks.

Adam and i didn't have sex all weekend cause we were at other people's houses, which may have accounted for all my sex dreams last night-- the were EPIC. I woke up and was so horny it literally HURT. Adam gets home from work in a couple of hours, i literally might not be able to wait. HURRY HOME ADAM!

Oh and I'm sorry i haven't been around-- I have been broke, but also this diet I'm on 'jewwatchers' has made me into a virtual recluse. I look slammin but it's hurting my social life big time! I didn't realize how much of my time with friends was spent drinking until i stopped drinking as much... although i will tell you that this weird thing is happening-- vodka club soda has always been my fav drink, but now i just drink the club soda a lot of the time... but whenever i drink it i feel sort of tipsy-- is that weird? Maybe it's pavlovian... or maybe Adam is putting vodka in my soda secretly...
Gchat evidence of this recent social decline due to my diet (which Irish and i joke is more like an ED) is below:

Irish: stop hiding from me. this eating disorder is ruing our friendship

Jew: lol i'm on aim! I was hiding from Denise [annoying girl who won't leave me ALONE]

i signed in right after you sent me that text message. You know it wouldn't ruin our friendship if you would get one too
Jew: then we could be ana together. lol
Irish: our blog is going to shambles, i havent seen you in weeks, and forget what yr meatloaf tastes like.

Irish: hahaha ok!

Jew: you will never forget what my meatloaf tastes like

Irish: hahahahahahahahaha

Jew: :)
Irish: ok too AIM

Love,
Jew

What is Going On

2008-07-02T06:16:00.003-05:00

Um Jew?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Where are you :( :( :( :(

Wow so many things to discuss. Make-outs (duh), whiffle ball games, the mouse in my apt i dont have time to buy a trap for to kill, etc etc etc.

Mild dilemma of the week: I'm headed home to Jerz to throw LifeLongCrush a bday party on Thursday. I invited 20 people, a decent bar crowd for a 26th birthday gathering. Problem?!? Not one of those 20 people is a female. Um yea.... I know ZERO chicks to hang with at home. So now I'm getting desperate and I'm begging dudes to bring their girlfriends, sisters, mothers, anyone with a vag.

Cheers
Irish

Happy Friday!

2008-06-27T14:20:00.003-05:00

You guys know what's coming, so I'm not even going to try to make you guess:

RELEASE ME FRIDAY!!!!

-love, Jew

A Little Taste of Pearl Jam.... YUM

2008-06-26T21:55:00.009-05:00

It doesn't get much better then this ladies 'n gents.

xoxo

Irish

Resurrected Concert Junky

2008-06-25T06:34:00.004-05:00

Back in the day I had a little bit of an addiction to concerts. I'd say I've been to well over 200 shows ranging from Green Day to Billy Joel to Ani DiFranco to yes, even Ms. Britney Spears.

But sometime post college I kicked the habit and minimized my yearly concert tally to around 3 or so shows per year. But that seems to be changing... since Saturday I've seen Dave Matthews, Coldplay and tonight will be seeing my favorite of all.... PEARL JAM!!!

Bert and I have AMAZING seats and since its been 2 years since I've last seen Eddie & Co. I'm psyched as all hell. You know I once went and saw Pearl Jam alone at MSG bc I could only get ONE TICKET! I was 19 and it was one of the best nights of my life... I ended up making friends to buy my drinks and the Blarney Rock and making out with the dude next to me during "Crazy Mary."

Anyways... in other news, I cannot escape Paddy. I made the "mistake" of hanging out with him last Thursday and well you can guess how that went down. I was hoping it would be disastrous but in reality we had a great time together. SHOOT ME.

Cut to Monday night and I'm off to Coldplay with 5 of my co-workers each with a guest. I of course brought my BFF Ivy and my co-worker Bob brought his friend Chris who happened to be cute 'n Irish so I asked where he was from... "A little town in Rockland County" he responded. Immediately I knew we were moments away from the name game. Of course I mentioned my hometown bar and he snapped back, "Do you know Paddy O'Fattyhan?!?!"

Ivy turned to me and said, "Woah I just got goosebumps!"

"Yea I know Paddy really well."
"I know Paddy too but um not as well."
"Oh wow, well he is one of my oldest and closest friends."
"Hahahahaha. Oh boy."

Needless to say it was obvious to all of my co-workers and friends that I had clearly been sleeping with or had slept with this dudes friend which I quickly explained in the girls bathroom to my girlfriends that "Paddy" was AKA "Fireman" and they were all sorts of "ooooooooooo" "weeeeeeird" "nooo waaaaaay" etc etc.

I called up Paddy who thought the whole thing was hilarious and didn't even seem mildly nervous that this guy would find out about our affair... typical.

In other news my baby bro graduated from HS in Jerz yesterday and I realized I'm friggin old. I stopped by poker night after the fact and caught up with some of my homeboys namely, Ernie who begged me to stay over for the night. We used to have sleepovers every Tuesday before he got relationshipped but I wasn't about to stay and be forced to sleep on a couch instead of his bed so I went back to the city.

In other news, I'll keep you posted on how effin fab tonight's concert ends up being. Jew went last night and has yet to show up on AIM so I'm scared she's using a sick day to cure her hangover. YIKES!

Cheers,
Irish

OMG Two Monday Posts

2008-06-23T08:02:00.004-05:00

Hey guys! So i guess this is a double dose today, Irish also blogged right below me! Exciting! So i got into work early today totally by accident so i figured this is a good time for some much needed updating.

Brother Jew(BJ) and Emily: So I have known that my brother was going to elope with his ~~girlfriend~~WIFE Emily for a couple of months. She and i are really close so she told me in like, April that they were going to do it. "How is it eloping if i already know about it?" I asked... "Well I'm not telling you the day, only that we will be married by September." "Oh... ok?" Needless to say i was confused about the whole thing. Here's the thing, Emily's family isn't exactly close... from what i have gathered, her mom is a little crazy, and her dad has been married 4 times. Emily has been to close to 50 weddings, both because she has a lot of friends, and because her mom is a justice of the peace. She's been a maid of honor and bridesmaid countless times, and estimates that she's spent at least 15K on weddings in her life. Now with all that info i can see why a big wedding leaves a bad taste in her mouth. And if you're thinking "Well why doesn't she have a small intimate wedding with close family?" Than you've obviously never planned a wedding, or you are the greatest wedding planner in the world and need to contact me in the next 5 years to plan mine.

So anyway, i had this info-- that they were going to elope, but they told me that they would tell me when it happened. Good thing i am psychic because a couple weeks ago i turned to Adam and said "Brother Jew and Emily got married this weekend." I just knew it. That Tuesday at work i sent Emily this really cool Madeline L'engle (a wrinkle in time) quote on marriage, thinking that she would have to tell me if they tied the knot if i clearly knew. But no, she just sent back a brief email asking me how i was. Now i really knew; Emily is known for sending very interesting long emails every time we make contact. So i just put it out of my mind. Then that Thursday i was gchatting with my cousin Hanna, and she asks, "did brother jew and emily get married?" "Umm... why?" "Because i just got an alert that he changed his myspace profile to say he's married..." "HOLD ON A SEC."

Then through a series of emails back and forth with Emily i found out that they had, in fact, gotten married the previous Thursday, but they had decided to wait a WEEK AND A HALF until we were all together for Father's day to tell the family. And let me say, um FUCK THAT. I was pissed, not because they got married like fucking thieves in the night, but because they were going to wait a week to tell my parents!! Like, wtf did my family ever do to deserve that? They told WORK FRIENDS before us. He updated his goddamn fucking MYSPACE before telling us. I have been going to my brother's shows, supporting his djing since i was fucking 19. And Emily and i have always been really close. How dare they tell random fucking people, and not give us a chance to at least fucking congratulate them?!

Now listen, i may be a crazy bitch, but I'm not a killjoy. I planned on not saying anything to Emily and BJ about their secret marriage. I just emailed Emily back telling her that i wouldn't say anything and they could go ahead with their (stupid) plan to wait until Sunday to tell my parents and sister. But she kept emailing me explaining herself. Like... she didn't get it, AT ALL. She thought i felt 'left out' of the wedding and was upset that she and my brother had joined a-- and this is a quote: 'special club' that i wasn't a part of. Now this was too much. Emily is known among my friends as the arbiter of good advice. She's 33, so a little older than all of us, and one of the coolest girls i have ever met. But sending me a condescending email like I'm a fucking 4 year old upset that my brother was in a special club was just too much for me to take. I sent her an email, worded as nicely as i could, that i wasn't pissed that they got married, i felt robbed of my excitement for my only brother getting married, that sending me pictures of the event was NOT enough to make it real to me. And that she knows with every decision comes consequences, and they were going to have to deal with theirs. And also, that i thought it was extremely uncool that they would let anyone know before my parents. I mean, how embarrassing would it be for my mother to find out through a gossipy town lady in the supermarket that her first and only son got married?! Total failure. All it would have taken for the whole thing to be cool was a call to my parents on their way to Niagra Falls (honeymoon) saying "heymomanddadwegotmarriedtelleveryonewelovethembye!" I ended the email with "that said i love you and welcome to the family." She wrote back (and remember that this is a girl who sends marathon emails) "alright, sorry i get it." I was worried that i had offended her, but Irish goes: "Wow you totally shut her up." And i realized that yes, that was exactly what i had done.

So that weekend we all saw each other and everything was fine, of course. If Emily is going to be a part of the Jew Family she's going to have to realize that aggressive confrontation followed by totally forgetting about said confrontation is just the way our fam works. They did take my advice and call the family and tell them though, which made my life easier, although i did get an earload from my naturally paranoid father about how i had been lying by omission to him for a week. FYI i got that earload in the car with BJ and Emily on the way to NJ which ended up being good because they got to see first hand how their 'super easy going no worries wedding' was NOT super easy for me, thanks to the way they handled letting the news out. I bought them a cake and served it on Fathers day after brunch, and then we all went to Lowes and BJ installed a ton of shit at Adam and my apt for 4 hours, so i basically had to forgive them ;)

So main idea of the story? When it comes to marriage, if you're going to be sneaky, at least let people you love know what you're up to-- otherwise you're just going to cause a lot of headache for yourself and those around you.

Wow that took like 45 minutes, and i forgot all the other updates that I'm supposed to do... so we'll just leave that for now :) I'm sorry I didn't answer anyone in the comments yet, because i knew i was going to have to write what happened. But i would LOVE to hear what you guys think about this!

Oh and sorry to Irish, but I AM GOING TO PEARL JAM TOMORROW! And i am fucking PSYCHED!!! I can't wait. I'm going with bff Erin and a few other girls. I can't fucking wait; PJ is the only band that i will go see in concert, because ordinarily i hate concerts-- but theirs are always spectacular. I also decided that i think this will be the one time i see a pj concert sober... we'll see how that goes :)

Love,
Jew

OUCH

2008-06-23T06:52:00.004-05:00

Let's see if I can bang out this post in under 3 minutes shall we?!?!

Once again, I'm blogging from bed... hmm I'm starting to see a trend. I made the mistake of going out on Thursday night with my booze bud Sam because it had been a while since we'd seen each other. He got so wasted that I had to put him in a cab and send him home... that is a first. Typically, it is him sending me in a cab or the two of us heading home in the same cab to accidentally hook up. Um yea. Newark made an appearance despite the fact that she had already gone back to Jerz for the night so I was really feeling the love.

Friday is was a road trip up to Albany with the sorostitutes to spend the night at a friends house and wake up at the crack of dawn to head to the camp grounds In Saratoga. It is our tradish to gather together, pre-game a shit load, head to SPAC, and see the beloved Dave Matthews Band. I know I know... that is sooooo 1997. But this girl isn't one to break traditions, you should know that by now.

This camp ground we head to is IMPOSSIBLE to get into. The place fills up by Friday morning and each year I rely on the persuasion skills of Loud Mouth Long Island Jew to convince the owners they need to sell us wristbands. Once again, it worked.

Good times were had by all... Connor and his crew were there so we met up before and during the show where him and I single handily started a large dance circle... or drunk body shaking circle. All went well till my friend Allie passed out from dehydration, had to be taken off in a stretcher, and spent the last 45 minutes of the show in the infirmary. Since I have been the girl to pass out and wake up with an oxygen mask strapped to my face, I volunteered to head off with her... after all when you have seen DMB 30+ times what are you really missing?! Ok besides their cover of "Money".

All went well for the rest of the night/morning till we woke up to the rain. Loud Mouth Long Island Jew jumped outta her tent and insisted we get the F outta Saratoga. We got home early and I slept the entire afternoon. All would have been grand this morning had I not gotten my usually Sunday text from my buddy Will's girlfriend to see if I wanted to play trivia. I love trivia so I was game... cept everyone bailed out. Will's girlfriend insisted we meet for "a pint" bc she's from Ireland and cool like that.

5 pints and 3 shots later I remembered I had yet to eat lunch or dinner and told Will's GF I needed to leave, "One more shot!" she declared and I of course agreed. This Irish bitch can drink. She is half my size and consumed about 3 additional drinks... and didn't even look wasted. I came home and puked for an hour, the last shot didn't settle well AT ALL.

So now the room is spinning I have 2 minutes to get out the door and I'm totally not dressed. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm going to see Coldplay tonight with co-workers, I would call in sick. I'm actually still debating calling in sick because let's face it, Coldplay is the poor man's version of Radiohead.

Sidenote: Why am I not going to see Pearl Jam this week?! I have yet to figure out (minus my mishap with the Ten Club pre-sale) why I didn't buy tickets or didn't care to buy tickets when they are my abso fav band in the world. Maybe I should scalp.

Cheers and Happy Monday
Irish

Happy Friday!

2008-06-20T13:19:00.002-05:00

Happy Friday!!!

This week has been CRAZY. I know i say that a lot but usually i am lying to cover up my laziness. I have gone from this really bad sitch at work to like, this awesome situation... i can't really talk about it-- one because i don't even know that much about it yet, but two because i have done no actual work this week while I'm trying to finagle this deal that would make my life awesome :)

Anyway, i miss Irish a lot! It's been hard to hang out because in the summer everyone's weekends are booked weeks in advance. Me i never actually commit to anyone or anything so my weekends aren't booked, but Adam and i have been setting up the new apartment so that has kept us occupied.

Anyway, Happy Friday everyone! This week really flew. I love this song but i never knew how fuckin long the intro is; the song doesn't start until 1:28!!

Anyway, enjoy! I'll be updating soon. Oh and remember how i always call Irish the Friend to the Friendless... which is why she has 'friends' like leech? Well turns out i should have stuck to my own advice because i now have the worst sitch possible on my hands: Adam is friends with this guy who's gf cheated and they broke up. I felt kind of bad for her because she and i became friends while they were still together, so i wanted to reach out to her so that she would know that people don't hate her (some don't anyway). I mean i don't condone cheating, but i know that people make mistakes and she was super remorseful... now I'm getting 60 TEXTS A DAY FROM THIS GIRL! I don't go on AIM cause I'm hiding from her! She is insane, I'll update soon (i swear!)

Ahh i miss blogging, it's the best outlet to get shiz off your chest-- i should be working right now but I'm still writing! What I'm trying to say is regardless of how i've been sucking at updating lately, I'm still happy to be stuck with you guys... and i hope you're happy to be stuck with me :)

-J

Um WTF CW11

2008-06-20T06:50:00.004-05:00

Um who the F are these kids?!?!?!

For weeks I've been seeing "teasers" on the C-Dubs for 90210 but ya know being the child of the 80s/90s I just assumed they were bringing back THE REAL 90210 not created a NEW ONE!

This is not Saved the Bell people, you cannot just CREATE a "new class" 10 years later and hope for the best. What Would Aarrron Spelling DO?!?!?! (Can you believe he's been dead for 2 years!)

But who am I kidding, I'm totally gonna DVR this crap and probs become their number one fan.

Ugh. 9-0 (as I call it) holds such a place in my heart. Ivy and I use the show and its characters as a tool to describe every one we meet and every life situation we come cross. Like say for instance we're talking about a co-worker:

"Yea Irish I dunno I just don't trust her, she moved here from Cali and I get this feeling she's a sneaky bitch... totally an Emily Valentine."

I guess I have been living in a cave if I am only just now learning that 9-o is coming back this fall. I'm gonna have some serious googling to do today.

Happy Friday!

Irish

PS: Um where the hell is Jew?!?!?!

So I've Been Thinking...

2008-06-18T06:54:00.003-05:00

...and I think I wanna bang Paddy.

Is that bad?!?!

It's been 2 months since we last got it on (no, I don't keep track, I have a blog that does it for me) which may just be the longest period I've gone without Paddy in the last 2 years.

We've been talking on a regular basis while I watch him come up with clever ways to get me to see him.... I'm not gonna lie turning down his homemade penne a la vodka was NOT easy.

Ummm sidenote: He just called.... 8am and the creepo just called to see what I was up to. I'm mother effin going to work what the hell does he think I'm up to. ::sigh::

If I ever have a daughter the first life lesson I am going to share with her is: Stay away from firemen.

Cheers,
Irish

Beat

2008-06-17T06:34:00.004-05:00

I have 25 minutes to get out the door and like, I can't get out of bed. No really, I can't. I mean I will, in maybe 10 minutes or so where I will take a 20 second shower, throw on an outfit that doesn't match (and probs will be wrinkled), dry my hair with the heater in the car and put on my make-up while I steer the car with my knees. Um yea.

I worked till almost 9pm last night after spending the weekend damaging my liver at a bachelorette party (Deets to follow) not even an IV of Mountain Dew can revive me. If I can just get through today I think I'll be ok. So keep your fingers crossed.

Much love from my bed,
Irish

Happy Friday!

2008-06-13T14:41:00.005-05:00

I want to tell you more about finding out my brother is married via myspace, but the dramz is still going on, so i can't give you the whole story just yet. Just know that the rest of my family doesn't even know yet so talking to my parents has gotten really REALLY AWKWARD.

Jew's Dad: So when do you think your Brother and Emily are getting married?

Jew: Man can you believe the price of gas?! I mean... What is up with that?! (nervous giggle)

Anyway, Married also contacted me for the first time in months this morning... ALSO VIA MYSPACE. God why wont myspace just LAY DOWN AND DIE ALREADY?!

Clearly i still have some anger issues to work out.

In the meantime i have been listening to the only man who's ever been completely honest with me... and never minded looking and being so totally, hopelessly lame:

Case in point...

Things That Pop Into My Head

2008-06-11T23:06:00.005-05:00

This is a new segment called "Things That Pop Into My Head". I napped all day so I'm wide awake right now when suddenly BFTPs (blast from the pasts) started poppin in my head.

Sometimes I'll explain, sometimes I'll leave it up to you to comment. There's no rhyme or reason and trust me, I think our readership here is smart enough to pick up on this concept rather fast.

With that.... "Things That Pop Into My Head" is BORN!

Danger Bay

Oh the Joy of Updates

2008-06-10T20:48:00.005-05:00

Can we get a little HELL YEA for this wicked thunder storm that is brewing outside! I friggin love this shiz... even though I swear I saw a bolt of lightning crash 4 feet from me running home from my whiffle ball game just now... but alas, I made it safe and sound.

So yea whiffle ball is alive and kicking and let me just tell you our roster is an ALL STAR team! 90% of the team went to college with me, the other three dudes well yea I guess they're ok. The good news is I've only slept with one member of the team, BlackIrishStud.

We dominated tonight with a 15-4 win and yours truly scored 3 runs. I had to leave the celebration early because tomorrow is a very big day for me and I need to be up nice and early... deets on that in the near to distant future.

So shall we BUTT?!?! That's "Back Up The Truck" for those of you who didn't go to high school with me and didn't get an official 1997 copy of "Irish's acronyms".

This past week was a sexual tension filled fiasco between co-worker and I... the texts were flying and you know it is kinda a big deal when a guy can turn you on via text. Ha, ok no it isn't... the bottom line is I'm horny (most of the time) and I totes dig s-tension. So with big plans of hanging on Saturday we continued the sexy talk through Friday.

However, Friday evening came and a bunch of my co-workers (not including "the co-worker")decided to head out to the city for Happy Hour! THIS NEVER HAPPENS! I was first to jump on the bandwagon and twisted some arms into joining. On the downside I had Yanks/Royals tix that I couldn't just let go to waste so I started to think of people who might want 'em. I asked around and even asked a co-worker who I've played poker with a few times (but doesn't work on my floor) if he wanted 'em because I was going to HH. His only question, "Where is HH?!?" So I invited him along.

This co-worker and I, despite only hanging out two or three times over informal poker games, chat on the regs via IM. He's got an amazing body, is SUPER tall, and is... Jewish! I've been down that road, but ya know this Cath girl likes her men pale, freckled and in church on Sundays... so I never really thought anything would come of it....

...Till everyone started cutting out of HH around 10pm and I was not heading home with my drinking shoes on. Poker bud suggested the idea of continuing our booze fest and I said, "Oh hell yea."

I took Poker Bud over to "My Bar" so that he could meet Old Man Irish and I could score free drinks. We stayed for a bit and then ventured across town to meet some of his buds from college. Cut to 3:30 am and he's telling me that he needs to start sprinting to the train station and I'm all "sleep on my couch" which is Irish for "stay in my bed so I can make out with you and give you blue balls." So, he did.

I must have passed out mid-hookup because I woke up in my jeans and topless. We continued a nice make out sesh in the morning and if we weren't employed by the same company I'm sure it would have gone further.

In a conscious effort to NOT mack it to two co-workers in one weekend, I played the hangover card with co-worker number one who would have ended up blowing me off anyways... cause hey, we really just like the tension. After careful analysis I can't even begin to tell you how many dudes I've started sexual tension with, had a few good hookups with and then gotten completely bored with... Ugh it is annoying.

On the flipside, Paddy, who I'm pretty sure I will never get bored with, is still in the picture. Sure, I haven't hung out with him in well over a month but the calls, they keep coming. Friday night I actually drunk dialed him, told him I was coming over, hung up the phone and laughed at my devious fake booty call. I felt bad when he called the next day to tell me he thought I had been abducted by a cabbie, but not that bad.

Saturday night I hit up this amazing rooftop party with my girls Newark and Emma. I wore this fab green dress and Newark was all "Wow I love that dress." Which for those of you who don't know her, Newark NEVER gives compliments. The view at the PENTHOUSE party was awesome, the booze was flowing, and the food was redic. Newark poured BBQ sauce all over this slab of steak I was trying to eat which made me realize that she has got to be more then half black.

Sadly, I was dying from the heat.. I mean literally I thought I was melting. At one point I had to go into the bathroom and take off my dress just to cool off for 3 minutes... it didn't work. After throwing back my fourth beer I looked at NWK and said, "I tried." She gave me credit for trying but between the heat and the hangover it just wasn't happening. I realized I was only a few block from my cousins apartment and with the thought of standing on a subway platform making me feel like I was gonna vom, I called him up and invited myself to hangover in his AC.

Turns out my cousins roommate is kinda hot and kinda funny and kinda someone I'd like to see again ;) A bunch of his guy friends were over hanging out before heading out so I hung for a bit then dragged myself back to Astoria.

The plan was to sleep ALLLLLLL day long on Sunday till a Noon-time text from Mr. Nice Guy inviting me to Brunch came though. By 4:00 I was shithoused off of the unlimited screwdriver pitchers special and ready to booze. We attempted a short bar crawl through Astoria before a group of 10 or so of us convened at Mr. Nice Guy's place to play asshole and baseball. Mr. Nice Guy sure does love drinking games. Thanks to the heat plans to hit up the beer garden fell through and eventually I headed home to my bed.

Up next... first bachlorette party of the season, and I'm a bridesmaid, which means... things are getting shitty this weekend. Stay tuned for the recap ;)

FURIOUS

2008-06-10T14:51:00.001-05:00

Aaaaannnd i just found out that my brother got married. Via MYSPACE.

Deets to follow-- i'm too pissed to write now :)

love ya!

Jewey

TWC Is Like... The WORST. But everyone already knows that right?

2008-06-09T12:44:00.004-05:00

Jew: i can't get RCN

Jew:: goddamn it

Irish: why??

Irish: why cant u get any tv?

Jew:: the only choices i have are TWC and direct

Jew:: they don't have wiring at our bldg

Irish: but twc does?

Jew:: because twc are run by a bunch of incompetent inbreeds

Jew:: yea

Jew: i can't even talk about it

Jew: i have rage-cried over it once already today

Jew: they are so stupid it hurts my brain

Jew: srsly

Jew: everyone that works there is like clinically retarded

Jew: not joking

Irish: well just get twc

Jew: i CANT

Jew: that's what I'm saying

Jew: they're retarded

Irish: huh

Jew: they think the building isn't serviceable

Irish u just said

Jew: it is though

Irish: Jew: (1:37:46 PM): the only choices i have are TWC and direct

Jew: i know what i said, but twc doesn't know that they have wires going through the apt

Irish: that is so weird. can u get the name of someone else in the building

Jew: and direct tv installs a dish
Jew: and the owner won't let us do that

Irish: who has twc

Irish: to prove

Irish: that u have wiring

Irish: i mean someone in there must have gotten cable

Jew: I'm going to but i don't know if anyone else is getting it

Jew: no you don't understand though

Jew: even if they were

Jew: it has to show in the twc system

Jew: which it wont

Irish: how can a whole building not watch TV

Jew: even if i prove that i am getting tv

Jew: because i am getting basic channels

Jew: they wont realize it

Irish: then they need to send someone

Jew: i know!

Jew: but they wont

Jew: listen you are approaching this like a smart normal person

Jew: that is what i was doing

Jew: but apparently that is not how you do things with twc

Jew: first you drop out of school at the age of 7

Irish: oh ok so u have to firebomb them

Jew: then you get a job where you don't have to be able to read or write anything except ''serviceable'' or ''not serviceable'' from a big light box that people call a ''computer''

Irish: oh god

Jew: then you live inside the TWC building, surviving on spam and mouse shit

Jew: and the only contact with the outside world is talking to ME and telling me to wait ... and this is the best part...

Jew: 4-6 weeks... and BEYOND!!!!!!!!

Jew: like... is it 4-6 weeks... or is it BEYOND?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!

Jew: THESE PEOPLE HAUNT MY NIGHTMARES

Jew: like i am going to have a stress induced stroke talking to them on the phone

Jew: 4-6 weeks and beyond is like saying ''you have 4-5 months to live. Or FOREVER"

Jew: assholes

Jew: i should blog this convo

And I have now decreed to Adam that i will never call TWC again.

-J

Central Air...

2008-06-09T06:36:00.001-05:00

...shouldn't even be an option in life.

- Hot as hell Irish

A bottle of red... A bottle of whitessssss

2008-06-05T19:52:00.004-05:00

Wow I can't believe that I haven't blogged about Wild Wedding Weekend 1.5 yet!!! I really should get on that but its almost old news... eh but there is a totally uncomfortable moment at wedding number two that I'm gonna have to touch upon... EVENTUALLY!!!

Onto more important things like how co-worker and I are supposed to hang on Saturday (for some quality day drinking at the Beer Garden) which would be the first time we've hung out since we accidentally made out. The tension built up is pretty redic... but duh we all know I LOVE SEXUAL TENSION!

Back to the point... As you should all know by now... JEW IS MY NEIGHBOR!!! And so tonight Brooklyn Gal (who is the mother effin shit) and I headed to Jew's place for a delish meal! Mmmm!!

Jew went on for 20 minutes about how she hasn't been busy at work and I freaked out about SHE SHOULD BE BLOGGING!!! But she's all "ehhh" about it. I hope at very least she remembers to post a Happy Friday for tomorrow!

Alright, I have wine to drink and bitches to hang with so CHEERS!

Much Love,

Irish